Letting Go of My Hurt

In Colossians 3:13 I read, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (NLT)

Has someone ever done a crazy, hurtful thing to you or to someone you love? And I’ve thought, “I know the Christian thing to do is to forgive, so I will. I will forgive him as soon as he/she provides an apology.”

That mindset has a problem: I’m still holding on to the hurt. Truth is, that person may never ask me for forgiveness. They may never say they're sorry. They may not even care, or even realize what they’ve done. So I end up stewing over something that the other person has long ago forgotten. And it’s eating me up inside!

Never hold on to a hurt. It only leads to resentment, and resentment will tear me up. Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will harm someone else. It doesn’t work.

But resentment does have an antidote: forgiveness.

Jesus served as a clear example of forgiveness, even in the most extreme circumstances. As he hung on the cross, he said of his executioners: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34 NIV).

When I struggle to forgive, remember the great gift of God’s forgiveness, the forgiveness that Jesus offered on the cross and offers to me.

Colossians 3:13 sums it up well: “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (NLT). (You might even write this verse down, carry it with you throughout the day, and memorize it. You’ll have plenty of chances to use it!)

The Greek word that is translated as “make allowance” carried the meaning “to bear with, to endure, to be tolerant.” In other words, cut people some slack.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:7 NIV). If I want God’s blessing in my life, one way to receive it is by being merciful.

When faced with a hurt, I have a choice: I can hold on to it and be destroyed by resentment, or I can live in the freedom of forgiveness. Choose to forgive today.

In summary, learn to make allowances for other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends me. Remember how the Lord forgave me, so I must forgive others. When someone does a crazy or hurtful thing to me I can think “I know the Christian thing to do is to forgive, so I will. I will forgive him as soon as he/she provides an apology.” However that kind of mindset has a problem: I’m still holding on to the hurt. Truth is, that person may never ask me for forgiveness, say they're sorry, care, or even realize what they’ve done. So I end up stewing over something that the other person has long ago forgotten. And this will eat me up inside! I should never hold on to a hurt, for It will only lead to resentment, and that resentment will tear me up. Resentment is much like drinking poison and then hoping it will harm someone else. However, resentment does have an antidote: forgiveness. When I struggle to forgive, remember the great gift of God’s forgiveness. The Greek word that is translated as “make allowance” carried the meaning “to bear with, to endure, to be tolerant.” In other words, cut people some slack. If I want God’s blessing in my life, one way to receive it is by being merciful. So when faced with a hurt, I have a choice: I can hold on to it and be destroyed by resentment, or I can live in the freedom of forgiveness. The wise choice on my part is to choose to forgive today.

The key to forgiving others is remembering how much God has forgiven me. It should be so difficult to forgive someone who has wronged me a little when God has forgiven me for so much. Realize that God's infinite love and forgiveness can help me love and forgive others. Let God worry about the wrongs I've suffered. Don't quench my life in bitter feuding; live renewed in love and joy.

Father, I need you in my life. Please give me Your strength for today and remind me in little ways that I can always believe in, have faith in and can trust you in everything. This includes being the authority for my life, the source of my self-worth and my hope for the future. You have my best interests in mind. So I ask you to help me to embrace the way you’ve made me; my gifting and passions. I want to serve and fulfill the mission you have in mind for me. Father, I ask for your help and reminder to provide forgiveness and to cut others some slack. After all you have forgiven me. 

I ask for wisdom and guidance for my day, my work, my leadership, my interactions with others, my preparation for my new future job, and finishing well in my old one. I ask these things through you Son Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

Love Will Overlook Offenses

In Proverbs 19:11 I read, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” (NIV)

When dealing with people who are offensive or irritating, learn to look past the behavior to the pain.

Everything we do is motivated by something. When people hurt others, it’s because they’re hurting on the inside. Hurt people will hurt people.

The more I understand about other people’s backgrounds, the more grace I’ll show them. Think of a person I find to be difficult or irritating. I probably know nothing about their background, so I don’t cut them any slack.

I don’t know that perhaps they lost their parents at a young age. I don’t know that maybe they were molested. I don’t know that they’ve gone through two marriages and their spouse just walked out on them. I don’t know their story, and that’s part of why I’m not showing them any grace.

The Bible says in Proverbs 19:11, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (NIV). It’s easy to take offense from people I find difficult. But if I’m wise, I won’t get easily offended. Why? Because wisdom gives me patience.

When I patiently take the time to understand someone’s background, I understand the stress they’re under, and it’s easier to show grace. My understanding gives me patience to overlook the offense.

This is real love. In fact, the Bible says refusing to be offended by other people is actually an act of mature love. The more love I have in my heart, the harder it is for someone to personally offend me. The less love I have in my heart, the more insecure I feel and the easier it is to be offended.

Proverbs 10:12 says, “Love overlooks the wrongs that others do” (CEV). The more I’m filled with love, the less I’ll be upset when people are demanding, demeaning, or disapproving.

So when I encounter a difficult person, remember to: Look past the behavior to the pain. Then refuse to be offended and, instead, respond in love.

In summary, a person’s wisdom will yield patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. When dealing with people who are offensive or irritating, I need to learn to look past the behavior to the pain. Everything we do is motivated by something. When people hurt others, it’s because they’re hurting on the inside. The more I understand about other people’s backgrounds, the more grace I’ll be able to show them. Think of a person I find to be difficult or irritating. I probably know nothing about their background, so I don’t cut them any slack. I don’t know their story, and that’s part of why I’m not showing them any grace. It’s easy to take offense from people I find difficult. But if I’m wise, I won’t get easily offended, because wisdom gives me patience. When I patiently take the time to understand someone’s background, I understand the stress they’re under, and it’s easier to show grace. My understanding gives me patience to overlook the offense. This is real love. The Bible says refusing to be offended by others is actually an act of mature love. So when I encounter a difficult person, I need to remember to look past the behavior to the pain. Then refuse to be offended and, instead, respond in love.

Father, I need you in my life. Please give me Your strength for today and remind me in little ways that I can always believe in, have faith in and can trust you in everything. This includes being the authority for my life, the source of my self-worth and my hope for the future. You have my best interests in mind. So I ask you to help me to embrace the way you’ve made me; my gifting and passions. I want to serve and fulfill the mission you have in mind for me. Father, I ask you to help me be sensible in controlling my temper. Help me to see past someone’s behavior and see the pain so that I can cut them slack or help in some way. 

I ask for wisdom and guidance for my day, my work, my leadership, my interactions with others, my preparation for my new future job, and finishing well in my old one. I ask these things through you Son Jesus’ name, Amen.

People Pleasing Is Idolatry

In Galatians 1:10 I read, “I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” (NLT)

In life, I have to please only one person: my Creator. I only have to please the Lord, the one who made me and has a purpose for my life. That simplifies life enormously!

Jesus said, “I don’t try to please myself, but I try to please the One who sent me” (John 5:30 NCV). He’s saying, in effect, “I’m living for an audience of one.”

“People pleasing” is a form of idolatry. The first commandment in the Ten Commandments says, “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3 NIV).

Anything I put before God becomes a god. Anything that becomes number one in my life that isn’t God becomes my god.

The second commandment is, “You must not make for yourself an idol” (Exodus 20:4 NLT). Anything that replaces God in my life is an idol. Success, money and even a relationship can become an idol, If it is more important than God.

A “people pleaser” allows others' opinions to take first place in their lives. Those opinions become a god because they matter more than God’s opinion. I don’t tell people I’m a Christian because they might think less of me. I don’t want them to know I go to church because they may not like me. At that point, I have another god in your life. I have made an idol of people pleasing.

Paul says in Galatians 1:10, “I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant” (NLT).

Almost everyone wants to be liked. It’s tempting to want to please others. But don’t do it at the expense of pleasing God. As a servant of Christ, I have an audience of one. I need to only please God.

In summary, I shouldn’t try to win the approval of others. My goal should be to please God. If pleasing people is my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. I have to please only one person: my Creator, the one who made me and has a purpose for my life. “People pleasing” is a form of idolatry. The first commandment in the Ten Commandments says, “You shall have no other gods before me.” So anything I put before God becomes a god. Anything that becomes number one in my life that isn’t God becomes my god. The second commandment is, “You must not make for yourself an idol.” Anything that replaces God in my life is an idol. Success, money and even a relationship can become an idol, If I let it be more important than God. A “people pleaser” allows others' opinions to take first place in their lives. Those opinions become a god because they matter more than God’s opinion. Everyone wants to be liked. It’s tempting to want to please others. But I shouldn’t do it at the expense of pleasing God. As a servant of Christ, I have an audience of one. I need to only please God.

So, I shouldn't spend my life trying to please everyone. Paul had to speak harshly to the Christians in Galatia because they were in serious danger. He did not apologize for his straightforward words, knowing that he could not serve Christ faithfully if he allowed the Galatian Christians to remain on the wrong track. I need to consider whose approval I am seeking. Is it others’ or God's?  

Father, I need you in my life. Please give me Your strength for today and remind me in little ways that I can always believe in, have faith in and can trust you in everything. This includes being the authority for my life, the source of my self-worth and my hope for the future. You have my best interests in mind. So I ask you to help me to embrace the way you’ve made me; my gifting and passions. I want to serve and fulfill the mission you have in mind for me. Father, I pray for the courage to seek God's approval above anyone else's. I ask for wisdom and guidance for my day, my work, my leadership, my interactions with others, my preparation for my new future job, finishing well in my old one, and for leading a small group. I ask these things through you Son Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

Integrity vs. Popularity

In Luke 9:26 I read, “Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.” (NIV)

One day I’ll give an account of my life before God. This is the best antidote to being a people pleaser.

When I have that kind of long-term thinking, and when I keep in mind that I’ll one day stand before God, it changes me. It changes what I say, what I do, and who I try to impress. It’s the people pleaser antidote.

When I take that long look, and realize I will be giving an account for every word and action from each day, I begin to consider, “Which is more important, God’s approval or the approval of people around me?”

My human nature wants to compromise, divert, punt, and leave out the truth. It’s tempting to say things like, “I just leave that up to God” or “Everybody has to make up their own mind.” But those are people pleasing cop-outs.

In those moments, when I could say something that wouldn’t offend but would be a lie, there are three things I can do.

First, remember what Jesus Christ did for me on the cross. He didn’t deny me. He didn’t back away. He died for my sins. My life belongs to him. He created and saved me. He forgave me. He’s taking me to heaven. Why would I deny him?

Second, remember that one day I’ll give an account to God. God will ask, “What did you say in that conversation at work? What did you say to your friend at school? What did you say during a family dinner?” Integrity is more important than popularity. And I shouldn’t give up my integrity.

Finally, tell the truth, no matter the consequences.

As I walk in faith with Jesus, I need to practice doing these three things. They’re the guides I need to live with integrity, not for popularity.

In summary, if I’m ashamed of Jesus and his words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of me when he returns. One day I’ll give an account of my life before God. This thought is the best antidote to being a people pleaser. When I have that kind of long-term thinking, and when I keep that in mind. It changes what I say, what I do, and who I try to impress. When I take that long look, and realize I will be giving an account for every word and action, I begin to consider, “Which is more important, God’s approval or the approval of people around me?” My human nature wants to compromise, divert, punt, and leave out the truth. It’s tempting to say, “I just leave that up to God” or “Everybody has to make up their own mind.” But those are only people pleasing cop-outs. When I could say something that wouldn’t offend but would be a lie, there are three things I can do. First, remember what Jesus Christ did for me on the cross. He didn’t deny me. He didn’t back away. He died for my sins. My life belongs to him. He created and saved me. He forgave me. He’s taking me to heaven. Why would I deny him? Second, one day I’ll give an account to God. God will ask, “What did you say in that conversation? My integrity is more important than popularity. And I should never give up my integrity. Finally, tell the truth, no matter the consequences. As I walk in faith with Jesus, I need to practice doing these three things. They’re the guides I need to live with integrity, not for popularity.

Father, I need you in my life. Please give me Your strength for today and remind me in little ways that I can always believe in, have faith and can trust you in everything. This includes being the authority for my life, the source of my self-worth and my hope for the future. You have my best interests in mind. So I ask you to help me to embrace the way you’ve made me; my gifting and passions. I want to serve and fulfill the mission you have in mind for me. Father, through the Holy Spirit within me I ask for the continuous reminder that my integrity is more important than my popularity. I ask for wisdom and guidance in this as well as for my day, my work, my leadership, my interactions with others, my preparation for my new future job, finishing well in my old one, and for leading a small group. I ask these things through you Son Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

Every Day God Gives Me Opportunities to Help Others

In Proverbs 3:27 I read, “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them.” (NLT)

Every day God gives me opportunities to show kindness to people around me. As he does, he’s watching to see how I’ll respond.

Will I choose to be self-centered? Or will I notice the people who need a word of encouragement, a pat on the back, an errand done for them, or some other practical means of help?

The Bible says, “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them” (Proverbs 3:27 NLT).

I won’t always have an opportunity to help. So when I do, just do it!

I probably have people in my life that I’ve thought about helping. I have the best intentions. But I’ve done nothing. Why?

Maybe I’ve made excuses. I thought, “I’ll do it when things settle down.” Guess what? Things never will.

If I’m going to do any good in my life, the time is now. The Bible says, “If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done” (Ecclesiastes 11:4 TLB).

Do good now because I’m not guaranteed tomorrow.

Jesus said, “All of us must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent me, for there is little time left before the night falls and all work comes to an end” (John 9:4 TLB).

God has tasks he wants me to do. Don’t wait for perfect conditions to do them. Instead, look every day for the opportunities God gives me to help and encourage others. And just do it.

In summary, I should never withhold doing good for those who deserve it, especially when it’s in my power to help them. Every day God gives me opportunities to show kindness to others around me. As he does, he’s watching to see how I’ll respond. Will I choose to be self-centered, or will I notice and help? I may not always have an opportunity to help. So when I do, just do it! I know that in some situations I have the best intentions. But I’ve done nothing. I’ve made excuses, thinking, “I’ll do it when things settle down.” However things never will. If I’m going to do any good in my life, the time is now. Do good now because I’m not guaranteed tomorrow. God has tasks he wants me to do. Don’t wait for perfect conditions to do them. Instead, look every day for the opportunities God gives me to help and encourage others, and do them.

Father, I need you. Please give me Your strength for today and remind me in little ways that I can believe in, have faith and can trust you in everything, including being the authority for my life, my self-worth and my future. You have my best interests in mind. Help me to embrace the way you’ve made me; my gifting and passions. I want to serve and fulfill the mission you have in mind for me.  If I delay in doing good to others to whom it is due, I am being inconsiderate and unfair. I need to be eager to do good to others as I am to have good done to me. So I ask for wisdom and guidance in this as well as for my day, my work, my leadership, my interactions with others, my preparation for my future job role and for leading a small group. I ask these things through you Son Jesus’ name, Amen.