Marriage Is Meant for Connection

In 1 Corinthians 11:11 I read, “In God’s plan men and women need each other.” (TLB)

Marriage doesn’t solve or create my problems. Marriage reveals them. It simply magnifies what was already a problem when I was living as a single adult.

So if marriage doesn’t solve my problems, what does marriage do? Why did God design marriage in the first place?

God created marriage for the connection of men and women.

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 11:11, “In God’s plan men and women need each other” (TLB).

Whether or not I get married, I need someone of the opposite sex in my life. Why? Because nobody holds the full image of God. Women get part of it and men get part of it, and we need each other. God wired us this way. God thought up gender, sex, and marriage. What a God!

Did you ever wonder why God made man first and then woman a little bit later? Why didn’t he make them both at the same time?

I think he did it for Adam’s benefit. I think he wanted Adam to realize how much he needed women in his life.

Genesis 2:18 says, “It isn’t good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him” (TLB).

I need companions in all different areas of your life. But marriage is a particularly significant way to provide companionship; it’s in a relational class all by itself.

Here’s what Jesus had to say about it: “‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Mark 10:6-9 NLT).

This passage makes three major points about marriage:

1. Marriage is God’s plan. It’s not a tradition that can just be thrown out.

2. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Their body parts fit together for a purpose—the creation of everybody else.

3. Marriage is designed to be permanent. That doesn’t always happen. God is always ready and willing to forgive when I don’t live up to his standards. But marriage is meant to be for life.

Those are radical statements. Even if many people don’t believe them, they’re still the truth!

The reality of life today is that many people live outside of this marriage ideal. But just because we live in the real, not necessarily the ideal, doesn’t mean we get to say the ideal doesn’t exist.

The ideal is still the way God designed marriage. And when I choose to live inside of that design, I’ll reap the benefits of connection that God intended marriage to provide.

In summary, marriage doesn’t solve or create my problems. Marriage reveals them. It simply magnifies what was already a problem when I was living as a single adult. So, if marriage doesn’t solve my problems, what does marriage do? God created marriage for the connection of men and women. In God’s plan men and women need each other. Whether or not I get married, I need someone of the opposite sex in my life. Because nobody holds the full image of God. We need each other. God wired us this way. God himself said “It isn’t good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him”. I need companions in all different areas of my life. Marriage is a particularly significant way to provide companionship. God made us male and female from the beginning of creation. This is why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined”. This passage makes three major points about marriage: First, marriage is God’s plan. It’s not a tradition that can just be thrown out. Secondly, marriage is between a man and a woman. Their body parts fit together for a purpose—the creation of everybody else. Lastly, marriage is designed to be permanent. That doesn’t always happen. God is always ready and willing to forgive when I don’t live up to his standards. But marriage is meant to be for life. Even if many people don’t believe it, it’s still the truth! Many people live outside of this marriage ideal. But just because we live in the real, not necessarily the ideal, doesn’t mean we get to say the ideal doesn’t exist. The ideal is still the way God designed marriage. And when I choose to live inside of that design, I’ll reap the benefits of connection that God intended marriage to provide.

God created lines of authority in order for his created world to function smoothly. Although there must be lines of authority, even in marriage, there should not be lines of superiority. God created men and women with unique and complementary characteristics. One sex is not better than the other. We must not let the issue of authority and submission become a wedge to destroy oneness in marriage. Instead, we should use our unique gifts to strengthen our marriages and to glorify God.   

Cultivating An Unselfish Marriage

In summary of Philippians 2:4 it says, “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

Bottom Line:

Look out for one another's interests, not just my own.

What this means to me:

I should not always get caught up in my own world and plans.  I need to take an interest in others and be happy to help them with their plans.  One area to not lose focus on (especially with my busy schedule) is my marriage.  Marriage is one of those areas in which adjustment in life needs to take place. Change is happening all the time. Changes could be in the stages of children as the grow, changes in jobs, changes in health, changes in financial situations. When circumstances change in life, both my wife and myself will need to make adjustments to keep our marriage on track. In fact, simply being two imperfect people building a life together requires making adjustments for one another.  A healthy growing marriage will always demonstrate the ability to make adjustments for one another. At its core, it’s really about being me being unselfish. God will teach this to me through my marriage.  Some practical ways I can become less selfish and make positive adjustments is to think about what wife needs needs most. The Bible says, “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too” (Philippians 2:4 NLT). Unfortunately, my schedule can crowd out what are my wifes needs.  Next I need to be able to submit, so that I can adjust to her needs.  This means often giving up what I really want in order to meet her needs. Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” As a husband I should lead the way in service to her. It’s in the little daily decisions where I adjust and meet her needs where my genuine love can be expressed.  The test of my love toward her won’t be what I say, but more about how I can demonstrate it. This means I need to treat my wife as Jesus would. Making this decision will change everything. The definition of mature love is to treat other people as Jesus would. Jesus is our best example when it comes to love. “This is how we know what love is: Christ gave his life for us” (1 John 3:16a GNT). I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to apply this in my marriage and if I do, my marriage will be incalculably better.  In summary, I need to constantly take a more active interest in the lives of others, especially my wife.