If I Want to Change, Start with My Thinking

“Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.” Ephesians 4:23 (NLT)

Change requires new thinking. In order to change, I must learn the truth and start making good choices, but I must also change the way I think.

The way I think determines the way I feel, and the way I feel determines the way I act. So if I want to change the way I act and feel, I must start with the way I think.

For instance, I can say, “I need to love my spouse more.” But just saying that isn’t going to change anything. I can’t change my feelings just by willpower. I first must change the way I think about my spouse. This will eventually change the way I feel, which will then change the way I act. The Bible says, “Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes” (Ephesians 4:23 NLT).

The battle for sin—and the battle to deal with those defects in my life that I don’t like—starts in my mind. If I want to change my behavior or emotions, start with my thoughts and attitude.

The renewal of my mind is related to the word “repentance.” I know repentance is a dirty word for a lot of people. They think it means something bad, something they don’t really want to do, something painful. They think of a guy standing on a street corner with a sign that says, “Repent! The world’s about to end!”

But “repent” simply means to make a mental U-turn. Repentance is about more than changing my behavior. It’s about changing my mind and learning to think differently.

I turn from guilt to forgiveness, from frustration to freedom, from darkness to light, from hatred and bitterness to love.

I may also need to change the way I think about God. He’s not mad at me; he’s mad about me! I’m deeply flawed, but I’m deeply loved.

So when I want to change, start with my mind. I can change the way I think about all kinds of things—work, relationships, the economy, the world, and my past, present, and future. Changing the way I think will eventually change my emotions and my behavior.

In summary:

The key to change starts with transforming our thinking. The way we think affects how we feel, and in turn, how we act. To change our actions and emotions, we must first adjust our mindset. The Bible encourages letting the Spirit renew our thoughts and attitudes (Ephesians 4:23).

Repentance is about changing our way of thinking, not just behavior. It involves a mental shift from guilt to forgiveness, frustration to freedom, and bitterness to love. Changing our perspective on God is also crucial, recognizing that He loves us despite our flaws. Ultimately, altering our thoughts about various aspects of life—such as work, relationships, and the future—will lead to changes in emotions and actions.

 

Letting Go of My Self-defeating Lies

In 1 John 1:8 it says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” (NIV)

We lie to ourselves all the time: “I haven’t gained any weight.” “I’m not hurting anyone.” “No one even noticed.”

But one lie is more dangerous than most: “It’s not really a problem.” We tell ourselves that our <fill in the blank> is not a problem, or out of control.

Lying to ourselves is the number one way we mess up our lives. The Bible says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8 NIV). Sin causes us to deceive ourselves, and deception causes us to sin. 

Behind every self-defeating act in my life is a lie I’ve believed. Either I’ve lied to myself or I’ve believed one of Satan’s lies. The Bible says our heart is “deceitful above all things” (Jeremiah 17:9 NIV). We have an amazing ability to lie to ourselves.

To stop defeating myself—doing all of those self-defeating behaviors that cripple my ability to follow Jesus faithfully—I have to stop deceiving myself. Jesus said, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32 NIV). But first, the truth will make me miserable! I can’t break free from these self-defeating behaviors if I won’t admit they exist.

I can’t beat the problem if I’m lying to myself about it. Victory starts with telling the truth and being willing to do something about it.

It takes humility and honesty to recognize my weakness, when I'd rather pretend that I am strong. But, I do not need to fear revealing my sins from God, he already knows them. He will not push me away, no matter what I've done. Instead, he will draw me to himself. 

I Need to Think About What I Think About

In Proverbs 14:15 it says, “Fools will believe anything, but the wise think about what they do.” (NCV)

Every behavior is based on a belief. My perceptions about how life works, the things I value all lead to my behavior.

If I act scared, it’s because I believe scary thoughts at that moment. If I act resentful, it’s because I believe I’ve been devalued, and so I’m going to defend myself. If I’m acting prideful, it may be because I believe I’m not good enough, so I’m trying to compensate by being boastful.

If there is a behavior in my life that I don’t like, then I should go to the source and change the thought behind it. God says in Haggai 1:5, “Carefully consider your ways!” (GW).

I should ask: Why do I act that way with this person? Why do I act this way at work or school? Why do I act this way with certain neighbors? What thought triggered that response? What assumption is behind that action? What belief is beneath that behavior?

In this kind of conflict with your spouse or significant other: It starts off simple enough—but before I know it, something in the argument triggers my emotions, and I go from zero to 100 in emotional intensity in two seconds? Then I’m out of control, upset, nervous, or fearful. I may start sweating, or my voice may rise. Maybe tears start coming down my cheeks.

Something in that moment tapped into an unspoken belief. I may believe the other person is going to leave me. I may believe I haven’t been heard. I may believe my idea isn’t being given validation and I’m not being treated with respect. I believe something that suddenly triggered an emotional response.

If ever in a situation like that, I need to consider: What am I believing right now? I need to examine the beliefs beneath my behavior.

The Bible says in Proverbs 14:15, “Fools will believe anything, but the wise think about what they do” (NCV).

To grow in any area of life, I need to examine what’s going on in my mind. I need to start thinking about what I’m thinking about so my thoughts can lead to healthy, purposeful action. 

God Wants My Beliefs to be Turned into Behavior

In 2 Timothy 3:16-17 I read, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” (NLT)

The best translation of the Bible is the one I translate into my life. That’s what Bible study is all about. If I’m not translating God’s Word into my life, I’m not studying the Bible the way God intended. 

God gave us the Bible to transform us, not simply to inform us. It should give us a bigger heart, not a bigger head. In the book of James, I’m reminded, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says” (James 1:22 NIV). 

In other words, God wants my beliefs turned into behavior.  

God makes his purpose for the Bible even more explicit in 2 Timothy 3:16-17: “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work” (NLT).

The purpose of the Bible is more than just showing me what is wrong in my life or how I should live. God gave us his Word to radically transform life.

The Bible describes itself in different ways. For example, it calls itself a hammer, a sword, and a scalpel. All of those are tools designed to make radical changes. God intends for the Bible to dramatically change my life.

The Bible also describes God’s truth as milk, water, bread, and meat. What do all those things have in common? If I don’t eat or drink regularly, then I’ll die. In the same way, I was never meant to live without the Bible. The Bible is essential because it gives us life. 

We call the Bible “God’s Word,” but the Bible also talks about Jesus as the Word of God. John 1:14 says, “So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son” (NLT). God gave me the Living Word, Jesus, to be the Author and Finisher of my faith. And he gave me the written Word, the Bible, to prepare me to live out my faith.

The Bible can transform my life today—but I’ll have to open it up and start reading! 

How to Keep My Enthusiasm

In review of Romans 12:11-12 it says, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (NIV).

Today’s verses come from Romans 12:9-13. It says to not just pretend to love others, but really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God's people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

I know how to be courteous to others. I'm even skilled in pretending to feel compassion when I hear of others' needs. But God calls me to a genuine love that goes far beyond pretense and politeness. Genuine love requires concentration and effort. It means helping others become better people. It demands my time, money, and personal involvement. Look for people who need my love, and look for ways I can love for Christ.

I can honor others in one of two ways. One involves ulterior motives. I honor my leader so they will reward me, my employees so they will work harder, the wealthy so they will contribute to my cause, the powerful so that will use their power for me and not against me. God's way involves love. As a follower of Christ, I honor people because they have been created in God's image, because they are my brothers and sisters in Christ, and because they have a unique contribution to make to Christ's church  Does God's way of honoring others sound too difficult for my competitive nature? Why not try to outdo others in showing honor? Put others first!

Christian hospitality differs from social entertaining. Entertaining focuses on the host: the home must be spotless; the food must be well prepared and abundant; the host must appear relaxed and good-natured. Hospitality, by contrast focuses on the guests. Their needs, whether for a place to stay, nourishing food, a listening ear, or acceptance, are the primary concern. Hospitality can happen in a messy home. It can happen around a dinner table when the main disk is canned soup. It can even happen while the host and the guest are doing chores together. Don't hesitate to offer hospitality just because I'm too tired, too busy, or not wealthy enough to entertain.

To reach my goals, I have to figure out how to maintain my enthusiasm over the long haul.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing great is ever accomplished without enthusiasm.” I’ve got to have passion and enthusiasm, or I’m never going to make it to the finish line.

I need to learn to be consistently enthusiastic about the goals that I’ve set for my life.

Positive thinking is not enough. Pulling myself up by my psychological bootstraps is not enough. Talking myself into optimism is not enough.

The way to stay enthusiastic for a lifetime is found in the word “enthusiasm.” The word “enthusiasm” comes from the Greek word en theos. En is the Greek word for the English word “in.” Theos is the Greek word for “God.” So en theos means to be “in God.”

When I get in God, I will be enthusiastic. It’s the kind of enthusiasm that isn’t affected by the economy or the weather or my circumstances. It’s eternal because I’m tied to the eternal God. I am in Christ.

Paul tells me how to do this in Romans 12:11-12. He says, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (NIV).

If I want to reach my goals, I need to tap into God’s power by being joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.

Bottom Line:

Don’t energy or enthusiasm, for it is the Lord you serve. Have joy, patience, and be faithful in prayers.

What this means to me:

I should never let myself lack enthusiasm, but rather remember that in what I do, I’m serving the Lord. So remember to joyful in the hope I have, be patient when afflictions come, and to always be faithful in prayer.

This morning I pray: “Dear God, I don’t want to go another day without you in my life, controlling every part of my heart. I offer you my body. I dedicate myself to you. In light of all you’ve done for me, I give myself as a living sacrifice to you as a spiritual act of worship.

“I humbly admit that I need help. I want you to renew my mind. Help me to think the way you want me to think. Please forgive me for my pride. I don’t want to think more highly of myself than I should. My faith needs to grow, and I need your help to set goals that can be measured so I can manage them. Forgive me for trying to change on my own.

“I want to fill my life with love. I want to fill my life with you. Help me to get group support. Help me to take delight in honoring other people, to focus on giving my life away so that you can take care of my needs. I want to nurture my enthusiasm by being in you. Help me to be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. I give myself to you. In your name I pray. Amen.”

My Attitude Is A Decision

In review of Hebrews 6:9 it says, “Beloved, we are confident of better things concerning you, yes, things that accompany salvation.”

Bottom Line:

We are confident that you were meant for better things, things that come with salvation.

What this means to me:

I can have confidence that I’m meant for better things, blessings that come from my salvation.

In today's' verse from Hebrews chapter 6 we hear Paul telling us that we eventually need to move away from the basic teachings of Christ and move toward becoming more mature in our understanding and faith. Paul is confident that we are meant for better things, things that come with salvation. For our God is not unjust. He will not forget how we show and have shown love to him by caring for other believers. Paul's great desire for us is that we keep on loving others like this for as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what we hope for will come true. Then we won't become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, we follow the example of those before us who will inherit God's promises because of their faith and endurance.

I’m reminded this morning that the Cross means that what I used to be is over. I can let it go in the Jesus’ name. God will never consult my past to determine my future. Losers focus on what they’re going through, while champions focus on what they’re going to. My attitude will be the first key ingredient on my journey to success. So, what am I focusing on now  that is affecting my attitude.

“I can’t” is the brother of “I don’t want to.” My attitude is an inward feeling expressed by my behavior, and it is a choice that should never be based on circumstances. My behavior will be different when I decide to make it different.

My attitude will determine the the quality of my life and my relationships. It’s not what happens to me, but what happens in me that matters. So, today I make a choice to be happy and let the quality of my life improve.

Changing The Way I Think, Will Change How I Act

In review of Ephesians 4:23 it says, “Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes”

Bottom Line:

Let the Spirit renew your way of thinking.

What this means to me:

I should let the power of the Holy Spirit, help me change my way of thinking (thoughts and attitudes) for the better.

What I’m learning is that change in my life will require new thinking. Not only should I learn the truth and start making good choices, I also must change the way I think.

After All, the battle for sin starts in my mind, not in my behavior. The way I think determines the way I feel, and the way I feel determines the way I act. So in order to change the way I act, I start by changing the way I think.

I can not just say I’m need to do or change something. I’ll end up having a hard time fighting my way into a feeling. I first must change the way I think about it, then that will change the way I feel, which would then ultimately change the way I act. Today’s verse reminds me to, “Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes” (Ephesians 4:23 NLT).

I’m not what I think I am. Rather, what I think, is what I am. The battle to deal with the defects in my life start in my mind. If I want to change anything in my behavior or emotions, I start with my thoughts and my attitude.

Also, the renewal of my mind is related to the word “repentance.” Repentance has nothing to do with my behavior. It’s about learning to think differently. “Repent” simply means to make a mental U-turn. It’s something done in my mind, not with my behavior. Changing the way I think will then affect my emotions and behavior.

When I repent, I turn from guilt to forgiveness. I turn from purposelessness to purpose in life. I turn from no hope to new hope. I turn from frustration to freedom. I turn from darkness to light!

This the kind of change needed to be able to change the course of my life.