Pain Can Make Me Better or Bitter—It’s A Choice

“So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you.” 1 Peter 4:19 (NLT)

When people go through tragedy and disaster and pain, some turn to God. But others turn away from God—even when he’s offering the comfort and power they need to make it through a difficult time.

How pain affects me depends on how I choose to respond to it. I am going to let that experience make me bitter, or am I going to turn to God—and let the pain make me better?

Jesus didn’t come to explain away my pain. He came to share it.

He enters into my pain. He is a God who suffers with me and walks with me through whatever I'm going through, whether it’s emotional, physical, relational, or spiritual.

Some Christians think that it’s never God’s will for me to suffer and that if I have any pain in my life, it means I don’t have enough faith.

This is far from the truth. Sometimes I'm just going to suffer. Sometimes I'm going to have pain that is part of God’s will. The Bible says, “So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you” (1 Peter 4:19 NLT). 

Pain is inevitable. It’s a part of life, even for Christians. The choice I get to make involves whether or not I will waste my hurt. I can choose whether it will make me bitter or better.

Next time I'm experiencing pain ask God: “Are you using this pain to guide me in a new direction? Are you using this pain to spur me into action? Are you using this pain to show me what I need to work on? Are you using this pain to guard me from something more harmful? Are you using this pain to grow me and make me more like you? Lord thank you that you will never waste my pain. Please help me trust you as I follow you in faith.”

Let whatever pain I may go through guide me into the caring arms of Jesus Christ.

In summary:

Pain is inevitable, but how we respond to it shapes our growth. 1 Peter 4:19 reminds us to trust God during suffering, knowing He will never fail us. While pain is a part of life, it’s a choice to either let it make us bitter or better. Jesus shares in our pain and offers comfort, helping us grow and become more like Him. We can trust that God will use our pain for good, guiding us and teaching us through it.

The Best Use of My Deepest Pain

In 2 Corinthians 1:4-5 it says, “[God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.” (NLT)

When I’m going through pain, I can choose to focus on myself or on other people. When I choose to focus on serving other hurting people, that’s called redemptive suffering. It is the highest and best use of my pain.

No matter what pain I’ve gone through, Jesus wants to redeem my suffering. He doesn’t want it to be wasted! He wants to use it to help other people when they are in pain.

“[God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ” (2 Corinthians 1:4-5 NLT).

Who’s better qualified to help someone with debt than somebody who also struggled with debt? 

Who’s better qualified to help a struggling veteran than somebody who’s been a struggling veteran? Who’s better qualified to help someone recovering from a prescription drug addiction than somebody who has recovered from a prescription drug addiction? Who could better help someone who is suffering from a chronic illness than someone who has also suffered in the same way?

My greatest ministry will come out of my deepest pain. If I’ll be honest with God, others, and myself about whatever struggle I’ve faced, then that struggle will become my ministry.

Sharing my strengths doesn’t make me feel any closer to someone. But when I share the experiences that have led me to surrender to God and rely on his strength, then I’ll be connected to others more deeply than I can imagine. Why? Because when I—as a broken person—share with other broken people how God has restored me, I’m not just sharing something I have in common. I’m sharing hope that other people can also experience redemption through Jesus Christ.

Sharing my pain helps me and the people around me to grow in Christ. Using my pain to serve others is a form of ministry.

I shouldn’t waste my pain. Let God use it for my greatest ministry.

Many think that when God comforts us, our troubles should go away. But if that were always so, people would turn to God only out of a desire to be relieved of pain and not out of love for him. I must understand that being comforted can also mean receiving strength, encouragement, and hope to deal with our troubles. The more we suffer, the more comfort God gives us. If I am feeling overwhelmed, allow God to comfort me. Remember that every trail I endure will help me comfort other people who are Many think that when God comforts us, our troubles should go away. But if that were always so, people would turn to God only out of a desire to be relieved of pain and not out of love for him. I must understand that being comforted can also mean receiving strength, encouragement, and hope to deal with our troubles. The more we suffer, the more comfort God gives us. If I am feeling overwhelmed, allow God to comfort me. Remember that every trail I endure will help me comfort other people who are suffering similar troubles. similar troubles. 

How to Turn Suffering Into Service

In 2 Corinthians 1:6 it says, “Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer.” (NLT)

Everyone is going to face problems and difficulties in life. I find that God will give me all the grace I need to endure those hard times. But he also wants me to be willing to use my experiences to help others. God doesn’t want me to waste my hurt!

The Bible says, “Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer” (2 Corinthians 1:6 NLT). 

Did you know that God sometimes allows us to go through problems for the benefit of others? He may let us go through a period of darkness, depression, or discouragement so that we can comfort others with the same comfort he gives us.  

In fact, our greatest life messages always come out of our weaknesses, not our strengths. 

Who can better help somebody who’s in recovery for alcoholism than somebody who’s also walked through recovery? Who can better help somebody who is going through the pain of a divorce than someone who has healed from divorce? And who can better help the parent of a seriously ill child than another parent who’s experienced the same heartache? 

The things in life I wish I could change are often the very things God wants to use to help me grow in spiritual maturity and as a ministry. While God is at work in me, he also wants to work through me to help others.

The Bible says that love never gives up. It is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. Love considers others. Love turns other people’s problems and needs into our problems and needs. Love looks at other people like God sees them and gives them what they need, not what they deserve.

That’s what Jesus did. He suffered all kinds of problems and shame and went to the cross—not for his benefit but for our salvation. I can follow his example, and use my hurt to help others. 

Turning My Pain into a Testimony

In 2 Corinthians 6:4 I read, “In everything we do we show that we are God’s servants by patiently enduring troubles, hardships, and difficulties.” (GNT)

I often think that the world is impressed with my success and how I enjoy my prosperity. But in reality they're more impressed by how I, as a Christ follower, handle adversity.

When I go through pain, non-believers around me are watching me. They’re wondering what it means to be a Christian when I’m in the same kind of pain they are. Does it look any different?

The truth is, I have the same pain as everybody else. I just have a different source of comfort.

My successes shouldn’t give me as much credibility as much as how I handle my suffering. The more honest and vulnerable I am about the suffering in my life, the more powerful my impact will be to others.

The apostle Paul was a pro at using his pain to model his message. He says in 2 Corinthians 6:4, “In everything we do we show that we are God’s servants by patiently enduring troubles, hardships, and difficulties” (GNT).

My deepest life message will come out of my deepest pain. The world doesn’t need to see Christ followers who are perfect or have it all together. They need something real and authentic. They need to see Christians who are patient in pain, who walk faithfully in suffering.

Every area of my life where I’ve experienced pain is a testimony. Has God helped me work my way out of deep debt? That was painful—but it’s also a testimony. God has helped me patiently endure chronic pain. That’s also testimony. Anywhere I’ve had pain and experienced God’s help is a testimony.

I should not waste my pain; and don’t waste my hurt. People all around me are going through the very thing I’ve already gone through, and they need my help. They need me to comfort them.

The greatest witness of God’s love in all of history was not Jesus’ perfect life, his sermons, his miracles, or his stories. It was his suffering.

God can use my faithfulness in suffering to great effect in someone’s life. In fact, my faithfulness in suffering could be my greatest witness! 

God Can Use Dark Times for Good

In review of 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, I read  “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” (NLT)

Paul reminds me through this verse that although I think I'm at the end of the rope, I am never at the end of my hope. My perishable body is subject to sin and suffering, but God has never abandoned me. Because Christ has won the victory over death, I have eternal life. All of my risks, humiliations, and trails are opportunities for Christ to demonstrate his power and presence in and through me. Like Paul, I must carry out my own ministry, looking to God for strength. So when opposition, slander, or disappointment threaten to rob me of victory, I just need to remember that no one can destroy what God accomplishes through me.

I will experience suffering, loneliness, discouragement, or unjust criticism, Because those are things Jesus experienced, and I need to experience them too for God to develop the character of Christ in me.

God does not cause tragedies. God is good, and he will not cause evil or do evil. But God can use dark and stressful times like these for good. He can use my current troubles to teach me to trust him, to show me how to help others, and to draw me closer to other believers.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed” (NLT).

So as I go through difficult times, refuse to be discouraged. Then, remember God is with me. Then, rely on God’s protection and guidance. God’s light will shine even in the darkest shadows.

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Talk About It

In summary, I may be pressed by troubles, but not crushed. Perplexed but not driven to despair. Hunted down. But I’ll never be abandoned by God. I may be knocked down, but I won’t be destroyed. Although I think I'm at the end of the rope, I am never at the end of my hope. My perishable body is subject to sin and suffering, but God has never abandoned me. Because Christ has won the victory over death, I have eternal life. All of my risks, humiliations, and trails are opportunities for Christ to demonstrate his power and presence in and through me. So like Paul, I must carry out my own ministry, looking to God for strength. When opposition, slander, or disappointment threaten to rob me of victory, I just need to remember that no one can destroy what God accomplishes through me. I will experience suffering, loneliness, discouragement, or unjust criticism, Because those are things Jesus experienced, and I need to experience them too for God to develop the character of Christ in me. God can use dark and stressful times for good. He can use my current troubles to teach me to trust him, to show me how to help others, and to draw me closer to other believers. So as I go through difficult times, I need to refuse to be discouraged. Remember that God is with me and then rely on God’s protection and guidance.

Father there are several things going on in my life such as the pandemic, the focus on social injustice, and the announcement that my job will go away. I know that you can use these things for good in my life. Based on the past you have never ripped me off, and have always seen me through bad situations. I need to focus on what good you are doing in these situations and look forward to what you have in store for me. I just need to hold the course and do what I need to do to be and do the best I can. Father I would like these situations to help bring me to a better understanding and compassion for people, and to help grow me and allow me to be of assistance in other situations in the future or in serving others. I pray this morning also for wisdom and guidance for my day, my work, my leadership and my interactions with others. These things I pray through your Son Jesus name, Amen.

How to Remain Faithful When Suffering

In review of 1 Peter 4:19 it says, “Those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good” (NIV).

Bottom Line:

When in trouble, continue to be faithful to God and continue to do good.

What this means to me:

When I find myself in trouble or suffering, I should commit myself to being faithful to God, my creator. More importantly I need to continue to do good.

Today’s verse reminds me to not be surprised at the trials I go through, as if it was unusual. Instead, be very glad, because these make me a partner with Christ in his suffering.  If I'm insulted because I bear his name or be associated with him, I will be blessed. It is no shame to suffer for being a Christian. Praise God for the privilege of being called by his name. So If I'm suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust my life to the God who created me, for he will never fail me. His Word tells me that Christ will send his Spirit to strengthen those who are persecuted for their faith. God's plan for my life may include pain and hardship. When trouble comes, don't be surprised.

God’s Word counsels that I trust God, whether it be in good or bad times, during sunny or cloudy skies, when I have lots of money and when I have little. Trust works like this: (1) Trust overcomes fear. Genuine trust in God says, "Whatever mess I'm in, my heavenly father will lead me. (2) Trust overcomes depression. No matter how overwhelming the situation or how low it makes me feel, God can draw me back to the light. (3) Trust overcomes hate. When careless or cruel people hurt me, sometimes irreparably, I can hate forever or I can trust God, but I can't do both. God is there to steady even the worst situation, always with a promise, always with hope. Commit my life to him for safekeeping and rely on Him when I face my worst circumstance.

There are people out there who say God wants everybody to be a millionaire. There are some people who think following God is like having a golden ticket that guarantees you’ll be a millionaire, you’ll never get cancer, and you won’t have any problems in your life.

But the Bible says sometimes suffering is God’s will for your life. Why? Because it makes you more like Jesus. It deepens my faith. It brings me rewards in Heaven. It builds my character. It teaches me to worship instead of worry.

There are several kinds of suffering in the world. Common suffering is suffering that’s universal — it doesn’t matter if you’re Baptist or Buddhist or Muslim or atheist or whatever. Everybody suffers certain things. When a hurricane comes into town, it doesn’t just pick on Christians. There is suffering in the world that we all share in common.

The second kind of suffering is carnal suffering. That’s suffering I bring on myself from my own sin. If I choose to live an immoral life, one consequence could be a sexually transmitted disease. My choices led to that result, so it’s my fault. It’s not God’s fault. It’s not anybody else’s fault. Or if I spend more money than I make and go into debt and face bankruptcy, that’s my fault, too. I suffer because of my sin and bad decisions.

Not all suffering is from sin. The Bible says sometimes suffering is according to the will of God, because God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:19, “Those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good” (NIV).

No matter what arrows are thrown at me, no matter what I suffer in this life because of my faith, God wants me to remain faithful to him and keep on doing good to others. It’s not easy to do, it requires faith. ]God is guiding me to becoming more like Jesus.