Before They Trust Jesus, People Need to Trust Me

In Titus 3:2 I read, “Believers shouldn’t curse anyone or be quarrelsome, but they should be gentle and show courtesy to everyone.” (GW)

My gentleness is a witness to unbelievers. They’re watching me all the time to see if I’m any different when I’m under stress. When I respond to pressure with gentleness, it will be an incredible testimony to those I interact with.

The Bible says in Titus 3:2, “Believers shouldn’t curse anyone or be quarrelsome, but they should be gentle and show courtesy to everyone” (GW).

As a follower of Jesus, I should never speak evil of anyone or be quarrelsome. Instead, I must be gentle with and show courtesy to everyone. That means people with different beliefs.

I may spend a lot of time speaking with people I totally disagree with. I cannot win enemies to Christ; but I can win friends.

People aren’t going to trust Jesus until they trust me. People want to see that I am credible. Do I live with integrity? Am I gentle? Am I loving? Am I compassionate?

If people like what they see in me, they will be more apt to listen to what I say.

Here’s the thing: If you obey Titus 3:2, I may be criticized by others. They may say that I’m compromising. 

Treating other people with respect does not mean I have to compromise what I believe. I have friends who don’t agree with me and friends who don’t believe what I believe—because there’s something more important to focus on: That they know Jesus!

A great verse to keep in mind and live by is 1 Peter 3:15: “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” (NIV).

This study today is a great reminder for me as I start out my Financial Coaching Practice. A lot of what I’ll need is honest relationships and respect for others. To be trusted, I’ll need to intentionally make friends from all walks of life so that I can coach, encourage and even talk to them about Jesus? Gentleness is a key quality to possess so that I can be encouraging. I’ll also need to be better “prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have” (1 Peter 3:15 NIV), as I talk to them and they are curious.

Strong Marriages Are Good for Everyone

In Romans 12:9-10 I read, “Love sincerely . . . Hold on to what is good. Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other.” (GW)

Strong marriages are good for everyone. They benefit the individuals who are part of those relationships and can even help to strengthen whole societies.

Throughout history, marriage has been the fundamental building block of every society and culture. When marriages have been strong, nations have been strong. When marriages and families weaken, cultures decline.

Strong marriages benefit the individuals in the relationship too. God uses marriage to perfect my character. In relationships I learn to be unselfish and loving. If I get married, no relationship will have a greater impact on my life.

If not married, God can and will use other people to build character. Single people don’t get off the hook! Godly others-focused singles play a critical role in flourishing cultures as well. In fact, sometimes, they play roles that married couples and those with children can’t. The truth is, societies also need singles to live in strong, fearless relationships with others.

One of the main purposes of life is to grow up and realize it’s not all about me. In fact, real happiness comes from giving my life away, being unselfish, serving, and loving. This is called maturity.

Life is a laboratory of learning how to love. It’s the most important thing in life because God is love, and he wants me to become like him. He wants to make me like Jesus Christ. He wants to build my character.

If married, the number one tool that God uses in my life to build Christ-like character is my spouse. Every day I get hundreds of opportunities to think about the other person instead of myself.

The Bible says, “Love sincerely . . . Hold on to what is good. Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other” (Romans 12:9-10 GW).

Am I doing this in my marriage? Love washes the dishes, takes out the garbage and puts the other person first.

Excel in showing respect for each other so that I grow to be more like Christ. It will lead to a stronger relationship for myself and a stronger society for everyone.

In summary, strong marriages are good for everyone. They benefit the individuals who are part of those relationships and can even help to strengthen whole societies. Marriage has been the fundamental building block of every society and culture. When marriages have been strong, nations have been strong. When marriages and families weaken, cultures decline. Strong marriages benefit the individuals in the relationship too. God uses marriage to perfect my character. I learn to be unselfish and loving. If I get married, no relationship will have a greater impact on my life. If not married, God can and will use other people to build character. Godly others-focused singles also play a critical role in flourishing cultures as well. Sometimes they play roles that married couples and those with children can’t. As such societies also need singles to live in strong, fearless relationships with others. One of the main purposes of life is to grow up and realize it’s not all about me. Real happiness comes from giving my life away, being unselfish, serving, and loving. This is called maturity. Life is a laboratory of learning how to love. It’s the most important thing in life because God is love, and he wants me to become like him. He wants to make me like Jesus Christ. He wants to build my character. If married, the number one tool that God uses in my life to build Christ-like character is my spouse. Every day I get hundreds of opportunities to think about the other person instead of myself. So we should excel in showing respect for each other so that we can grow to be more like Christ. It will lead to a stronger relationship and a stronger society for everyone.

Most of us have learned how to be courteous to others, how to speak kindly, avoid hurting their feelings, and appear to take an interest in them. We may even be skilled in pretending to feel compassion when we hear of others' needs, or to become indignant when we learn of injustice. But God calls us to genuine love that goes far beyond pretense and politeness. Genuine love requires concentration and effort. It means helping others become better people. It demands our time, money, and personal involvement. No individual has the capacity to express love to a whole community, but the body of Christ in your town does.  Look for people who need my love, and look for ways you and your fellow believers can love your community for Christ.  We can honor others in one of two ways. One involves ulterior motives. We honor our bosses so they will reward us, our employees so they will work harder, the wealthy so they will contribute to our cause, the powerful so they will use their power for us and not against us. God's way involves love. As Christians, we honor people because they have been created in God's image, because they are our brothers and sisters in Christ, and because they have a unique contribution to make to Christ's church. Does God's way of honoring others sound too difficult for your competitive nature? Why not try to outdo one another in showing honor? Put others first. 

How to Love like God Does

In Romans 15:7, I read, “Accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory." (NLT)

Every time I show love, I give glory to God. Here’s how it works. Every time I show what God is like, I give him glory. And God is love. So when I love, I show God’s glory.

God says, “I am loving. I am compassionate. And I want you to be like me. I want you to develop my character.”

I’ll never be God. But God wants me to become godly. He wants me to develop his character, like father like son, like father like daughter. He wants me to learn to love people the way he loves people.

There are many ways to love like God does. One way to love other people is by accepting them.

Romans 15:7 says, “Accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory” (NLT).

God wants me to accept everyone, no matter what. This doesn’t mean I have to approve of everything they do.

There’s a difference between acceptance and approval. While God loves and accepts me unconditionally, he doesn’t approve of everything I do. It should be the same for me. I can accept everyone without approving of everything they do.

Love is not saying, “I approve of everything you do.” Love is saying, “I accept you in spite of what you do.”

With every person I encounter today, take the opportunity to give God glory by loving as he loves, with unconditional acceptance.

In summary, I’m to accept others just as Christ has accepted me so that God will be given glory. Every time I show love, I give glory to God. Here’s how it works. Every time I show what God is like, I give him glory. And God is love. So when I love, I show God’s glory. God says, “I am loving. I am compassionate. And I want you to be like me. I want you to develop my character.” God wants me to become godly. He wants me to develop his character. He wants me to learn to love people the way he loves people. One way to love other people is by accepting them. God wants me to accept everyone, no matter what. This doesn’t mean I have to approve of everything they do. There’s a difference between acceptance and approval. While God loves and accepts me unconditionally, he doesn’t approve of everything I do. It should be the same for me. I can accept everyone without approving of everything they do. Love is saying, “I accept you in spite of what you do.” With every person I encounter today, take the opportunity to give God glory by loving as he loves, with unconditional acceptance.

The Roman church was a diverse community, made up of Jews, Gentiles, slaves, free people, rich and poor, strong and weak. It was difficult for them to accept one another. Accepting means taking people into my home as well as into my heart, sharing meals and activities, and avoiding racial and economic discrimination. I need to go out of my way to avoid favoritism. I need to consciously spend time greeting those I don't normally talk to, minimize differences, and seek common ground for fellowship. In this way I am accepting others as Christ has accepted me, and God is given the glory.

I'm to accept others just as Christ has accepted me. Accepting means taking people into my home and my heart, sharing with them and avoiding any racial or economic discrimination. I need to go out of my way to avoid favoritism. God accepts me, despite my messy life, impure motives and irritating attitudes. One of the ways I reflect God's love and bring him glory is to accept one another just as he accepted me.  

The Adjustments That Make Marriage Work

In 1 John 3:18 I read, “Our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.” (GNT)

Every marriage, and really, every relationship, offers many opportunities for adjustments. Life together will change. Children / grandchildren will grow up. I’ll change jobs. we’ll move. I’ll get sick. Life will force me to make adjustments.

And to make these adjustments successfully, I’ll need to become unselfish. In fact, learning to be unselfish may be the greatest lesson God wants to teach me through my marriage.

Unselfishness is at the core of what the Bible teaches in 1 John 3:18: “Our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action” (GNT).

Here are three ways to make unselfish, loving adjustments:

1. Think about what my wife needs. The Bible says, “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too” (Philippians 2:4 NLT). Unfortunately, often the longer I’m married, the less I think about my spouse’s needs. The Bible urges me to look out for everyone’s needs, but especially the needs of those in my own home.

2. Submit to each other. The Bible calls spouses to submit to each other, to give up what I really want in order to meet my wife’s needs. Ephesians 5:21 says, “Honor Christ by submitting to each other” (TLB). Never think my spouse should do all of the adjusting in marriage. As the leader of our home, I, the husband, is called to lead the way in sacrificing and in making adjustments, just as Jesus did. Paul writes, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her” (Ephesians 5:25 NLT).

3. Make adjustments in the little things. Maybe it means arriving a little bit later or leaving a little bit earlier. Maybe it means going to bed at a different time. Maybe it means going to the restaurant or watching the movie my wife prefers. Maybe it means listening when my wife needs me to listen and not just when I feel like it. Real love is expressed through those small, daily decisions to adjust and meet each other’s needs.

The test of real love isn’t in what I say. It’s in how I act.

When my love is mature, I’ll treat my mate like Jesus would. 1 John 3:16 says, “This is how we know what love is: Christ gave his life for us” (GNT).

So I need to make the adjustments to love my spouse like Christ does. That decision will change everything.

In summary, my love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action. Marriage and every relationship, offers opportunities for adjustments. Life together will change and will force us to make adjustments. To make these adjustments successfully, I’ll need to become unselfish. Learning to be unselfish may be the greatest lesson God wants to teach me through my marriage. Unselfishness is at the core of what the Bible teaches. Three ways to make unselfish, loving adjustments are: First, to think about what my wife needs. The Bible urges me to look out for everyone’s needs, but especially the needs of those in my own home. Second, to submit to each other. The Bible calls spouses to submit to each other, to give up what I really want in order to meet my wife’s needs. As the leader of our home, I’m called to lead the way in sacrificing and in making adjustments, just as Jesus did. Lastly, to make adjustments in the little things. Real love is expressed through those small, daily decisions to adjust and meet each other’s needs. The test of real love isn’t in what I say. It’s in how I act. When my love is mature, I’ll treat my mate like Jesus would. So I need to make the adjustments to love my spouse like Christ does.

Real love is an action, not a feeling. The greatest act of love is the giving of myself for others. I do this by serving with no thought of receiving anything in return. I need to put others' desires first. How clearly do my actions say I am really loving others?  Am I generous as I should be with my money, possessions and time?

Father, thank you for wanting me. I need you in my life. Please give me Your strength for today and remind me in little ways that I can always believe in, have faith in and can trust you in everything. This includes being the authority for my life, the source of my self-worth and my hope for the future. You have my best interests in mind. So I ask you to help me to embrace the way you’ve made me; my gifting and passions. Help me to serve and fulfill the mission you have in mind for me. Father, as I go about my day, help remind me that real love is an action and a sacrifice to serve others interests above my own, reflected in how I act.

I ask for wisdom and guidance for my day, my work, my leadership, my interactions with others, doing well and making a difference in my new job.  I pray these things through you Son Jesus’ name, Amen.