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Monday, April 4, 2011

Learning to Speak Woman

This post is about Chapter 8 "Learning to Speak Woman" from "Tender Warrior" by Stu Weber.

100% of the responsibility for the sustenance of marriage belongs to the man.  Men need to model themselves after the life of Christ.

Woman speak a unique dialect, it’s our responsibility to learn it and speak it back to them with passion. Men must take initiative, and then stick with it, remain under, stay.

Scripture tells us to: 1 Peter 3:7, “You Husbands.. live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker...”

“Live with your wife in an understanding way...”

We are to engage our minds, gain a full mental grasp on the nature / significance
  • Think it through
  • Work hard at it
  • Don’t give up
  • Become a student of your wife
“As with a weaker vessel...”
This doesn't mean she is inferior or we are superior, it refers to weaker, but not lesser
She is:
  • more delicate (fine china, more fragile)
  • more sensitive (has a more precisely adjusted sensory ability, especially in terms of relationships)
  • more alert to what’s happening in her environment
By design - requires provision, protection and care
We need to understand her as more delicate, fragile, alert, and sensitive being

We communicate in different ways...
What are a woman’s needs:
  • Her need for affection, that is tenderness
  • Conversation, the sharing of the heart
  • Honesty and openness, no secrets between us
  • Security or physical and financial provision
  • Relational commitment, she must know she is top priority
Scripture refines these down to three things; Honor, Nourish and Cherish, These must become action plans. We need to show, demonstrate, verbalize and express. Learn to know here needs and to speak her language:
  • She needs to know she is top priority
  • She needs to hear it from you and see it in your
Based on this, here’s some questions to leave you with:

Stu starts off this chapter 8 saying that as a man we are “100% responsible for the sustenance of the marriage.”  Do you agree or disagree with this statement?   Why?

Stu then provides a verse in scripture which tells us men to “live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker...”    What does culture/media teach about this?  How do you feel about this?   What could be some practical ways in which we can practice what scripture tells us?