“From now on, then, you must live the rest of your earthly lives controlled by God’s will and not by human desires.” 1 Peter 4:2 (GNT)
What are human desires? They’re my emotions and my affections. Once I become a Christ-follower, my life should be controlled by God’s will, not by how I feel.
When I'm angry or upset or frustrated—whatever I'm feeling—I need to consider these three questions:
“What’s the real reason I’m feeling this?” Maybe the answer is fear or worry. Maybe it goes back to something parents said years ago. Or maybe someone hurt me last week, and today they’re the target of all my pent-up anger.
“Is it true?” Is what I'm feeling at that moment true? There’s a point in the Bible where Elijah got so discouraged that he went to God and complained, “God, I’m the only one in the entire nation of Israel left serving you.” And God challenged him, essentially saying, “Are you kidding me? I’ve got all these people who are still serving me! You’re acting like you’re the only one trying to do the right thing in the whole world! No. That’s not true.”
“Is what I’m feeling helping me or hurting me?” Will I get what you want by continuing to feel this way? A lot of feelings I have seem natural, but they’re actually self-defeating.
If I go to a restaurant, the service is extremely slow. I wait a long time to be served, and then a couple walks in 15 minutes after you and gets their meals before you do. I become increasingly irritated until I feel something welling up inside.
When something like this happens, consider each question: What’s the real reason I'm feeling that way? I'm hungry! Is it true? Yes. I'm frustrated because the service is slow. Is what I'm feeling helping or hurting? Getting angry with the server never works. When somebody tells me all the things I'm doing wrong, does it make me want to change? No! All it does is make me defensive.
When I ask yourself these three questions, I'll get a better grip on why I feel the way I do and what I need to do to help the situation.
That’s called managing your emotions.
In summary:
1 Peter 4:2 reminds me that once I follow Christ, my life should be guided by God's will, not by my human desires— emotions and affections. Managing my emotions means not being controlled by how I feel in the moment, but by seeking truth and alignment with God’s purpose. When emotions rise, I can pause and ask three key questions: What’s the real reason I’m feeling this? Is it true? Is this feeling helping or hurting me? These questions help me uncover deeper causes, challenge distorted thinking, and evaluate whether my emotions are leading me toward or away from God's will. This intentional process leads to greater emotional self-awareness and Christlike self-control.
I need to live by God’s will, not by my emotions, by pausing to reflect on the truth behind my feelings.