How to Become a Trustworthy Person

In Proverbs 20:6 it says, “Many people claim to be loyal, but it is hard to find a trustworthy person.” (NCV)

Trust is the emotional glue that draws me closer to friends, family, and a small group. Without trust, I’ll never have the intimate relationship that God wants me to have. Teamwork without trust is impossible.

Proverbs 20:6 says, “Many people claim to be loyal, but it is hard to find a trustworthy person” (NCV). This verse was written thousands of years ago, and yet I have the same dilemma today: Who do I trust? How do I find a trustworthy person? More importantly, how do I become a trustworthy person so that people trust me?

First, I earn people’s trust by being consistent. The Bible says in Luke 16:10, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much” (NIV). Today everybody wants to serve God in the obvious and showy ways. But God says I build trust by being faithful in little things. Even when no one is watching me, God is. He sees what I’m doing. And he says that if I’m faithful in little things, he will give me greater and greater responsibility.

Secondly, I earn people’s trust by being trustworthy. People trust me when I can keep information confidential. One of the most important rules for small groups is that what is said in the group stays in the group. My group trusts me to keep private whatever they share. Proverbs 11:13 says, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (NIV). 

Lastly, I earn people’s trust by being close. To be close I have to spend time with people in order to earn their trust. The Bible says, “Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble” (Proverbs 17:17 The Message). That implies proximity. Distance creates distrust. I don’t trust people I don’t know! So if I want people to trust me, I’ve got to spend time with them. Time creates trust. 

So, If I want people to trust me, I can ask God for help to be more consistent, trustworthy, and close to the people he has placed in my life.

Four Benefits of Admitting My Mistakes

In James 5:16 it says, “Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (TLB)

The fastest way to build community is through admitting my mistakes. But why in the world would anybody risk honesty? Because it’s worth the risk. God says there are four benefits of being honest about my feelings, faults, and fears. 

First, I’ll get emotional healing. The Bible says in James 5:16, “Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (TLB). 

There is a big difference between forgiveness and emotional healing. If I need forgiveness for something in my life, all I need to do is confess it to God. Emotional healing comes from telling somebody else.

Second, I get a fresh start. Proverbs 28:13 says, “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance” (TLB). 

One of the most helpful things I can do in my small group is help people forgive themselves. A lot of people need somebody to say, “You’ve admitted it to God? Then you are forgiven. You’ve confessed it? Then you are forgiven. Let it go.” 

Third, I get God’s power to change. “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor” (James 4:10 NLT). 

How does this work? The Bible says that God resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. God’s grace is the power to change. When I get God’s grace, I can change the things I've always wanted to change in life. But it only comes through humility, and humility comes through honesty. 

Fourth, I get deeper fellowship. The Bible says, “But if we live in the light—just as he is in the light—then we have fellowship with one another” (1 John 1:7 GNT). 

We think that if we’re open about our fears, hang-ups, imperfections, and secret faults, people are going to think less of us. The opposite is true! The more honest I am, the more people like and want to be with me. 

Many people have realized, “My life is messed up. I’ve got some serious hang-ups, habits, bad responses, and bad relationships. There’s no way I could admit to all of the bad stuff in my life.” 

God wants to turn my hurt into healing. Then he wants to use me in the lives of other people. He’s just waiting for me to surrender. 

When I Help Others Grow, I Grow Too

In Romans 1:12 it says, “I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you.” (NCV)

God has wired me so that when I help other people grow, God helps me grow. My fastest growth comes when I’m in fellowship with other believers and encouraging each other’s commitment to following Jesus Christ.

The Bible says in 1 Timothy 4:7, “Keep yourself in training for a godly life” (GNT). I do this by staying in a small group, and getting a spiritual partner. Is it always easier to exercise when I’m doing it with somebody else? In the same way, I need someone to walk alongside me through my journey of faith, and I need to make the same commitment to others.

The world today doesn’t push us to commit to much of anything. It’s all about getting what I want right now. What I want can change from day to day, so the world says to just start going after something new each day, whether that’s a hobby, a job, a ministry, or even a person.

Nothing affects my life more than my commitments. What I’m committed to, will shape what I’m going to be in 20 years, because I’m becoming whatever you are committed to. Commitments shape my life! And if I’m not committed to anything, other people are shaping my life.

My commitments not only affect here and now; they also affect eternity, because every choice I make has eternal consequences. That’s why the Bible says in Romans 1:12, “I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you” (NCV).

This is why I need a church family, and a small group. When Christians commit to each other, we encourage each other to stay on track and keep our other commitments. We help each other out!

The Greatest Gift of Love Is Attention

In Galatians 6:10 it says, “Give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.” (NCV)

The Bible says in Galatians 6:10, “Give special attention to those who are in the family of believers” (NCV). So why do people in God’s family get special attention? 

Because whatever I pay attention to is going to grow. If I pay attention to a garden, it’s going to grow. If I pay attention to your kids, they’re going to grow. If I pay attention to my marriage, it’s going to grow. If I pay attention to my work, it’s going to grow. 

What is the greatest gift of love? It’s not diamonds, flowers, or chocolate. The greatest gift of love I can give is focused attention. I can affirm people just by looking them in the eye, which essentially tells them, “I value you. What they have to say is important to me, because they matter to me.” What people want more than anything else is focused attention. They want to know that their thoughts matter, that their lives matter, that they are valuable.

The core of relationships is not what we do for each other or the things we give to each other. The heart of relationships is how much of ourselves we give to each other.

It’s not enough to just provide everything my family, wife or kids need. They want me! They want my time. They want my attention. They want my focus. They want to know that I think they matter. Nothing can replace time. Kids don’t need things; they need time. Marriages need time, and friendships need time, and small groups need time.

I need to look for opportunities to show attention to the people in your life. That is the greatest gift of love I can give. But don’t just wait for it to happen; I have to make opportunities to show attention. 

If I have to put it in my schedule, do it. If I have to give up TV time, do it. If it means putting off housework, do it. If I have to make sacrifices, do it. Do whatever I need to do to give my relationships attention. It is essential to their growth!

 

Life’s Greatest Lesson Takes Time

In Philippians 2:4 it says, “Look out for one another's interests, not just for your own.” (GNT)

Selflessness brings out the best in others. It builds relationships. What does it mean to be selfless? It means you think a little less of yourself and a little more of others. 

The opposite of selflessness is selfishness—and it’s the number one cause of conflict and arguments. The Bible says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have” (James 4:1-2 NIV).

Self-centeredness destroys relationships.

The problem is, being selfish is human nature. We naturally think about our own interests, our hurts, how we look, and how we feel. Even culture tells us, “Do what you think is best for you.” But God’s Word says, “Look out for one another’s interests, not just for your own” (Philippians 2:4 GNT).

What happens when I look out for others’ interests and not just my own? Not only will it transform relationships, but it will also transform other people. It causes the other person to change, because I’m not the same person anymore, allowing them to relate to me in a different way. 

When I can treat cranky, unlikable people with kindness, instead of treating them the way they deserve, they often transform into nice people.

The greatest lesson in life is learning to be unselfish—but it won’t happen overnight. It’s going to take the rest of my life. 

The good news is, God doesn’t leave me all alone to learn how to be selfless. Romans 8:26 says, “The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness” (NLT).

I should never stop making the effort to be more selfless. God’s Spirit is within me to help me break the cycle of selfishness! When I do, I will see transformation in all my relationships.

Paul encourages me to guard against any selfishness, prejudice, or jealousy that might lead to dissension. Showing genuine interest in others is a positive step forward in maintaining unity. Jesus was humble, willing to give up his rights in order to obey God and serve people. Like Christ, I too should have a servant's attitude, serving out of love for God and for others, and not out of guilt or fear. I can choose my attitude. I can approach life expecting to be served or I can look for opportunities to serve others.