How to Respond to a Difficult Person

In Proverbs 16:21 it says, “A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is.” (GNT)

Have you noticed how many difficult people there are in the world? Some days, do you feel like you have to deal with most of them?

We all have our own mental lists of rude things other people do that bug us. Here are examples: People who call me and then say, “Who is this?” People who honk their horns in traffic jams. People who cheat in the 10-items-or-less grocery line. People who steal your parking spot.

The list goes on, and we can all relate. So how should we respond in love to difficult people?

Today’s verse, Proverbs 16:21 reminds me, “A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is” (GNT).

The more pleasant I am, the more persuasive I can be. And I’ll never be persuasive when I’m being abrasive. Nagging doesn’t work.

Also, the way I say something determines the way it’s received. If I say something offensively, it’s going to be received defensively. That’s why love considers my words. Love is truthful, but it is also tactful.

The Bible says it like this: “Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ” (Ephesians 4:31-32 CEV).

Tact and tone always go together. The way I say something, not just what I say, matters.  I can say something very difficult for someone to hear, but if I say it in the right tone—a loving tone—it will be received much better.

A loving response to a difficult person requires me to be pleasant and tactful.

Think of it like this: If I want to be below a difficult person, attack him. If I want to be even with him, get even with him. But if I want to respond the way Jesus would, show that person love with the words I say and the way I say them.