Choosing Forgiveness Over Gossip

In review of Proverbs 17:9 it says, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”

Bottom Line:

Love will prosper when a fault is forgiven, you will lose a friend if you keep talking about what they did wrong.

What this means to me:

True love on my part includes forgiving others. If I harp on it or not let it go, I will only lose them.

When someone does something crazy around me, it’s almost impossible to not reach out for someone else and say, “you won’t believe what they just said or did!” We naturally want to tell someone else, we want affirmation from someone else. This need for affirmation is one of the most difficult things in the world to let go of it. It may feel good when we tell someone to spread the word about the crazy-person’s act, but it’s also unloving.

The Bible tells me to forgive even your enemies. Proverbs 17:9 says, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends” (NLT).

Gossip is an incredibly destructive thing. It is destructive to me and those around me. It will tear me up and it will separate the closest of friends.

The worst thing about gossip is that the crazy-person wins! All of a sudden, the crazy-person is controlling my conversation. The crazy-person is controlling my emotions. Don’t let that person win! Don’t let the crazy-person win by choosing gossip.

1 Peter 3:9 says, “Do not do wrong to repay a wrong, and do not insult to repay an insult. But repay with a blessing, because you yourselves were called to do this so that you might receive a blessing” (NCV).

Overall, I just need to realize that when I want to tell someone else about it, it’s a form of gossip. I’ll need to remember forgiveness over gossip. Also that my affirmation should come from God, not others.

Learning To Cut Others Slack and Let Go of Any Hurts

In review of Colossians 3:13 it says, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Bottom Line:

Be tolerant with one another, forgive anyone who offends you, remember the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive others.

What this means to me:

I am to be tolerant and make allowances for others, forgiving anyone who may offend me. I do this because of my remembrance of what Christ has done in forgiving me.

I believe many of us have had someone in our lives that has done some crazy and hurtful things to us or someone around us. The tendency is to forgive them as soon as they apologize directly. The problem with this approach is that we end up holding on to the hurt. Also, we may never see that person ask for forgiveness. This only leaves us up to stewing over something that someone else may have long forgotten. Allowing it to eat you up.

What I’m learning is that I should never hold on to a hurt, because the resentment will tear me up. Resentment is much like drinking poison and hoping it’s going to kill someone else. It doesn’t work. I need to decide that, before anything else happens, I am going to forgive that person.

Jesus said this even in the most extreme of circumstances, as he’s hanging on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34a NIV).

The key is to remember the great gift of God’s forgiveness.

Today’s verse, Colossians 3:13 reminds me to: “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (NLT). This is not a bad verse to memorize and carry with me, I’m likely going to have lots of chances to use it.

The phrase “make allowance” is the Greek word that means “to bear with, to endure, to be tolerant.” Basically it means to cut people some slack. Jesus promises, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:7 NIV). I know I want God’s blessing in my life, and one of the ways to receive it is by being merciful.

How to Give Grace to Someone Who Is Irritating

In review of Proverbs 19:11 it says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”

Bottom Line:

A wise man will restrain his anger and overlook insults. Doing so will earn you respect.

What this means to me:

I am to be wise and yield patience. I need to restrain my ager and overlook insults that come my way. If I can do this I can earn respect and show what I’m like by forgiving others. Whenever I deal with someone who is offensive or irritating, you need to look past the behavior to their pain.  Everything we do is motivated by something. When people are hurting others, it’s because they’re hurting on the inside. Hurt people will hurt others.

The more I can understand other people’s backgrounds, the more grace I’ll be able to show them. How much do I know about the backgrounds of those who are difficult to deal with. I don’t know anything about their background, their upbringing, their home life. If I don’t know their story, I’ll likely not show them any grace.

The Bible says in Proverbs 19:11, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (NIV). With a viewpoint of wisdom, I won’t get offended, because wisdom gives me patience. When I understand somebody’s background, I’ll better understand the stress that person is under; allowing me to easily show grace. Wisdom will give me the patience to overlook the offense.

This is real love, the Bible says refusing to be offended by other people is actually an act of mature love. It shows me how much love I have in my heart. The more love I have in my heart, the harder it will be to offend me on a personal basis.

The less love I have in my heart, the more insecure I’ll feel and the easier it will be to become offended.. The Bible says in Proverbs 10:12, “Love overlooks the wrongs that others do” (CEV). The more I am filled with love, the less I’m going to be upset when they are demanding, demeaning, disapproving or whatever.

So my first step in dealing with difficult people is to make the to refuse taking it personal and to not be offended.

Today i will consider the people who are the most difficult to deal with in my life and consider how I can learn more about them in order to show grace.

The Antidote to People-pleasing

In review of Luke 9:26 it says, “Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.”

Bottom Line:

If you are ashamed of Christ and his message, then the Son of Man will be ashamed of you when he returns.

What this means to me:

I should never be ashamed or afraid to speak or admit Christ and his message. If I do, then he will likewise be ashamed of me when he returns. It is important to keep in mind that one day, I will give an account of my life before God. If I can keep this in mind and have this kind of long-term thinking, it will ultimately change what I say, what I do, and who I try to impress. It is the antidote to people-pleasing.

When I take that long look ahead and realize that I’m going to give an account for every word I say today, I’ll should be able to ask of myself, “Do I want God disapproving of what I just said or did, or do I want this person disapproving of what I just said or did?”

Naturally my human nature wants me to be liked. Unfortunately to do so, this same human nature will direct me to compromise, divert, punt, and leave out the truth. I can’t just say, “I just leave that up to God” or “Everybody has to make up their own mind.” That’s only a  a politically correct, people-pleasing cop-out. If I do this, I’m not standing for the truth.

Instead of saying something that would be politically correct and not offend, I remember these truths. In that pressure moment, I can do three things.

First, I remember what Jesus Christ did for me on the cross. He didn’t deny me. He didn’t back down for me. He died for my sins. I owe him my eternal life. He created me. He saved me. He forgave me. He’s taking me to Heaven with him. I’m not going to deny him.

Second, I remember that one day I’m going to give an account to God. And at that point God’s going to say, “What did you say in that conversation at work? What did you say to your friend?” I need to remind myself that my integrity is more important than popularity.

Finally, I tell the truth and let the chips fall.

Today’s verse in Luke 9:26 says, “Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels” (NIV).

Going forward, I want to keep this in mind, “Do I want God disapproving of what I just said or did, or do I want this person disapproving of what I just said or did?” I want to make God my banner that I’m proud to march under. I need to look to honor God with what I say and do at all times.

People Pleasing Is Idolatry

In review of Galatians 1:10 it says, “I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”

Bottom Line:

Do not try to please people, instead try to please God. If pleasing people was your goal, then you would not be Christ’s servant.

What this means to me:

I am to not concentrate on pleasing people, instead, my focus should be on pleasing God. I can’t please people and be Christ’s servant. In life, I really only have to please one person. And that is my Creator. I only have to please the Lord, the one who made me and has a purpose for my life. Knowing this simplifies life greatly. I only really need one person’s approval: God’s.

Jesus said it like this in John 5:30: “I don’t try to please myself, but I try to please the One who sent me” (NCV). He basically says, “I’m living for an audience of one.”

What I’m learning is that pleasing people is a form of idolatry. The first commandment in the Ten Commandments is, “Don’t have any gods before me.” Anything I put before God becomes a god. So, my career could be a god. My hobbies could be a god. Watching TV can be a god. Anything that becomes number one in my life that isn’t God, becomes your god.

The second commandment is, “Don’t make any idols.” Anything that replaces God in my life is an idol. Success can be an idol. Money can be an idol. A relationship can become an idol. If any of these is more important than God, it’s an idol.

So trying to be a people pleaser, allows something other than God to take first place in my life. All of a sudden it becomes god in my life. I do this because their opinion matters more than God’s opinion. What they think of me matters.

So what I need to remember is that, in life I only have to please one person. Paul says in Galatians 1:10, “I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant” (NLT).

Today I will consider what things I’m allowing to become an idol, above God, and then refocus my attention and energy on Him.

Personalizing God’s Word to Change My Life

In review of Philippians 1:6 it says, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

Bottom Line:

I am certain that God who began this good work in you will continue working up and until the day when Jesus Christ returns.

What this means to me:

I am certain that God who began a good work in me will continue this work up and until the day when Jesus Christ returns for me. What I’m learning is that God’s Word will never change my life until I let it become personal. It’s not about others, rather it’s about God’s Word being applied to my life. In other words, the Bible won’t become dynamic until it becomes specific.

To make God’s Word more personal to me, I can do a personalize-it method of Bible meditation. To do this, I simply put my name in the place of pronouns or nouns in Scripture. For example, if I were personalizing John 3:16, I’d write something like this: “For God so loved Mark, he gave his one and only Son so that Mark would not perish but have everlasting life.”

Or, for Philippians 1:6: “He who began a good work in Mark will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Putting my name in the text, will help strengthen my faith and encourage me.

You can also re-write the verse as if God is talking directly to you. For example, Philippians 1:6 would be: “I, who began a good work in you, Mark, will carry it on to completion.”

If I do this as I read the Bible, it will become like God’s love letter to me. Reading the Bible isn’t just about getting to know the content of the Word; it’s about getting to know the author of it personally.

Making God’s word more personal helps with the conversation aspect of talking with God. It personalizes it for me and helps me hear God speak directly with me. To start today I can write” I am certain that God who began a good work in Mark will continue this work up and until the day when Jesus Christ returns for Mark.”

Being His Representation And Representative

In review of Genesis 1:27-28 it says, "27 So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 28 Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”

Bottom Line:

God created us in his own image Then God blessed us and told us to be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth, subdue / govern it, and to reign over fish, birds and animals.

What this means to me:

God created me and everyone else in his own image. He blessed what he created and left us instructions to be fruitful, increase in number, fill the earth, subdue and govern it, to reign over fish, birds and animals.

It’s important to note that in creating us in his image, he shared with us his likeness, which gives us some of his traits. In addition, he has also made each one of us unique. We learn more about his likeness and nature by spending focused time with him in prayer and reading his word.

Like others, I find myself getting caught up in day-to-day life activities and tasks that I need to accomplish. I tend to go into automatic mode and just execute. It’s in these automatic times that I’m not always focusing on him as my creator. Also we can tend towards self-sufficiency, thinking we don’t need any help.  I know, i’m much better at keeping him at the foremost of my mind when I spend time with him in the morning (my quiet time routine.)

God actually longs for our relationship with him, this is one of the reasons he created us. He wants us to be extensions of him in the world around us (we are to be salt and light.) I need to remember that I’m his representative. The way I live my life is a reflection of him and what life is like in his Kingdom.