Learning To Let Go of Your Hurt

In summary of Colossians 3:13 it says, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Bottom Line:

Be understanding and bear with and forgive each other. Just as the Lord forgave you.

What this means to me:

I am to be tolerant and bear with one another.  I need to have an attitude of forgiving anyone who would offend me.  I need to remember that the Lord has forgiven me.  In the same way I need to forgive others.  There will always be someone in my life who will drive me crazy. Forgiveness is tough when you think you are owed an apology.  When this happens, I’m still holding on to a hurt. The thing to remember is that person may never even realize what they done, but I would allow it to eat me up inside.  It doesn’t make sense to hold onto a hurt. Resentment will only tear me up.  It can be like like drinking poison and hoping it’s going to kill someone else. It just doesn’t work that way. I need to decide that, before anything else happens, I need to forgive that person.  Jesus said this even in the most extreme of circumstances, as he’s hanging on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34a NIV).  The phrase “make allowance” is the Greek word that means “to bear with, to endure, to be tolerant.” Basically it means to cut people some slack. Jesus said, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:7 NIV). So, when I struggle with forgiving, I need to remember the great gift of God’s forgiveness.  This verse may be a good one for me to memorize and carry with me.  I’m sure I’ll have plenty of chances to use it.  

Wisdom Yields Patience

In summary of Proverbs 19:11 it says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”

Bottom Line:

Good sense will make you slow to anger, and it is a good virtue to overlook an offense.

What it means to me:

Wisdom and understanding will help me control my temper and make me slow to anger.  It would be to my honor to forgive and forget wrongs done to me instead of holding on to them. This means that when I’m dealing with people who are offensive or irritating, I need to look past the behavior, to the pain they may be experiencing. I’ve learned that everything we do is motivated by something. When people are hurting others, it’s highly likely that they’re hurting on the inside. A Hurt person will hurt others (consciously or unconsciously.)  The more I can understand another’s background, the more grace I’ll be able to show them. If I think of the people who I find the most difficult to deal with, I’ll likely realize that I probably don’t know anything about their background.  I’m likely not to cut them any slack. If I don’t know their story, I’m not showing any grace.  The Bible says in Proverbs 19:11, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (NIV). Wisdom helps in with not being offended. Wisdom will allow me patience. When I understand somebody’s background, I’ll better understand the stress that person is under, thus making it easier to show grace, and giving me the patience to overlook the offense.  This is real love. The Bible says refusing to be offended by other people is actually an act of mature love. It shows how much love I’ve got in my heart. The more love I have in my heart, the harder it will be to be offended.  The less love I have in my heart, the more insecure I feel and the easier it is to be offended. The Bible says in Proverbs 10:12, “Love overlooks the wrongs that others do” (CEV). The more I am filled with love, the less I’m going to be upset with others when they are demanding, disapproving, etc. Today, if I’m dealing with a difficult person: I must choose to use wisdom; and refuse to be offended.

Maintaining Integrity Over Popularity

In summary of Luke 9:26 it says, “Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.”

Bottom Line:

If people are ashamed of me and my teaching, then the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and with the glory of the Father and the holy angels.

What this means to me:

One day, I’ll give an account of my life before God. If I keep this in mind will it impact / change what I say, do and who I try to impress (it’s an antidote to pleasing people.)  So I need to ask myself, “Do I want God disapproving of what I just said or did, or do I want this person disapproving of what I just said or did?”  I instinctively want to be liked, and a motivation such as this can lead me to compromise, divert, punt or just leave out the truth.  Saying things that are politically correct and not offend can be a lie.  Rick Warren shared these insight on how he handles this:

1). Remember what Jesus Christ did for me on the cross. He didn’t deny me. He didn’t back down for me. He died for my sins. I owe him my life. He created me. He saved me. He forgave me. He’s taking me to Heaven. I’m not going to deny him.  

2). One day I’m going to give an account to God. And at that point God’s going to say, What did you say in that conversation at work? What did you say to your friend at school?” I  need to remember that integrity is more important than popularity. Don’t give integrity, at any cost.

3). Just tell the truth, and let the chips fall

The Bible says in Luke 9:26, “Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels” (NIV).  In summary, I never want to be ashamed of Christ.  I pray that I can be bold and truthful in all my dealings, above and beyond being liked by others.  I want to maintain my integrity in this area over being popular.

Pleasing God Should Be The Highest Priority In Life

In summary of Galatians 1:10 it says, “I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”

Bottom Line:

I’m not trying to get the favor of or have people accept me.  God is the one I’m trying to please.  If I still wanted to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ

What this means to me:

I should not make my life about getting the favor of or having others accept me.  My goal should be to please and get God’s approval.  Often God’s ways are at odds with the worlds.  I must not let worldly values override that of pleasing God.  This notion can greatly simplify life.  In my life, I only have to please one person, my Creator, the one who made me for a purpose.  Jesus said it like this in John 5:30: “I don’t try to please myself, but I try to please the One who sent me” (NCV). In essence He said, “I’m living for an audience of one.”  Rick Warren explained that people-pleasing is a form of idolatry. The first commandment in the Ten Commandments is, “Don’t have any gods before me.” So anything I put before God becomes a god. So a car could be a god. A career could be a god.. Anything that becomes the number one thing in my life, that isn’t God, becomes my god.  The second commandment is, “Don’t make any idols.” Anything that replaces God in my life is an idol. Success can be an idol. Money can be an idol. A relationship can become an idol; especially If that relationship is more important than God.  If I become a people-pleaser (making it more important than anything in my life), then I have allowed something other than God to take first place. It becomes god in your life, because I’m allowing the opinion of others to matters more than God’s opinion.  I only need to please one person, God. Paul says in Galatians 1:10, “I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant” (NLT).  In summary, my goal should be to please, seek and get God’s approval.

Learning To Hear And Cooperate With God

In summary of Luke 8:15 it says, “And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good-hearted people who hear God’s word, cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest.”

Bottom Line:

The seeds that fell in good soil stand for those who hear the message and retain it in an obedient heart, obey it and patiently produce good fruit.

What this means to me:

God’s word provides me with what I need to live the life he wants for me.  I need to hear it, and then take it to heart and make it part of my life.  If I do, I’ll produce much fruit for His sake.  I have learned that God will speak to people who decide in advance to do what he tells them to do, not those who say, "God, tell me what to do and then I'll decide if I want to do it." When I have an attitude of cooperation, I’m more likely to hear from God. In my quiet times, I say, “God, I'm checking in with you. Anything you want to do in my life today, anything you want to tell me."  A willing mind is the good soil that is represented in this verse.  I need to be able to say, "God, I'm willing to do whatever you want me to do. Even if it seems scary or unusual or hard, I'm going to do it, and I'm going to keep at it until I bear fruit."  This is a scary notion and I have to admit, I’m not perfect at it.  Bearing fruit takes persistence and the willingness to pass it on to others; teach someone else.  Rick Warren explains that the secret of growth is that “Whatever you learn, as soon as you learn it, pass it on to someone.  One who teaches, grows the most -- because when you teach you show that you've not only heard it, but you've incorporated it and can communicate it to others.  I’m looking forward to the next semester of growth groups at my church.  I’ll be leading / facilitating a group again.  I always like to be prepared ahead of time to understand what will be talking about so that I can help guide the discussion and point out what I learn from the passages.  In summary, I need to continually get into His word.  I need to take it to heart and make it part of my life.  I need to share what I learn with others.

God Gives Real Freedom

In summary of John 8:36 it says, “If the Son sets you free, then you will be really free.”

Bottom Line:

If the Son sets you free, you are truly free

What this means to me:

It’s only through Jesus that I can be restored to the father.  Knowing and following Him will reveal the truth and free from the bondage of sin.  Our world/culture would define freedom as a life without any restraint — “I can do anything I want to do and say anything I want to say without anybody telling me what to do.” You may burn everybody else, but you get to do it your own way. The world says you can have your freedom, but only by being totally selfish.  God’s word tells me the only way to true freedom is through Jesus: “If the Son sets you free, then you will be really free” (John 8:36 TEV).  Real freedom is freedom from fear, guilt, worry, bitterness, and death. I’m free to quit pretending because I’m free to be myself.  When I realize how much God loves me, I can live in true freedom. In fact, I worship God when I recognize that “God is love.” It is an act of worship to agree that he is a loving, caring, generous God and that I can “rely on the love God has for us” (1 John 4:16).

How To Hear God

In summary of Proverbs 3:6 it says, “Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

Bottom Line:

Look for His will with everything you do, if you do, he’ll show you the right path

What this means to me:

In everything I do (how I’m a husband/father, how I lead growth groups, participate in the band, lead people and projects at work, being a student), I should look to God’s Word for direction.  God’s Word provides guidance.  If do what he has given me, then I'll be on the right path and will be listening to Him.  I need to be hearing from God on a daily basis.  When I hear from him it confirms my relationship with Him (God talks to his children.)  John 10:27 says, "My sheep recognize my voice and follow me." (NLT)  Just as a parent would talk to all their children, God talks to all of his kids. He doesn't just single certain individuals He talks to all believers, regardless of their state of maturity. It will protect me from mistakes -- If I listen to God, I'll make fewer mistakes because I'll hear him warning me in advance. Proverbs 3:6 says, "Listen for God's voice in everything you do, and everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track." (MSG)  This verse says, "in everything you do, and everywhere you go."  It will produce success in my life -- not the kind of success the world talks about where you're famous and filthy rich, rather God's definition of success - being exactly who God made you to be so that your life can have meaning.  "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." (Psalm 32:8 NLT) I need to realize that the best pathway for my life is not the same as someone else's.  God has a customized pathway for me, and if I follow it I will succeed.