Monday, June 25, 2018
Learning to Think Before Responding in Anger
In review of Proverbs 29:11 it says, “Stupid people express their anger openly, but sensible people are patient and hold it back” (GNT).
Today’s verse is Proverbs 29:11. It tells me that a stupid person will express their anger openly, however a sensible person would be patient and hold back their response quietly.
Proverbs 29 also reminds me that a warning will rarely come with a countdown. I won’t always be able to tell when I've had my last chance to change. If I refuse to consider valid criticism, I end up leaving myself open to a sudden disaster. The moment I realize that a change is needed is the best time to take action.
The emotion of anger confounds us. We simply don’t know how to handle our anger. One of the Bible’s simplest yet most profound answers for our anger comes in Proverbs 29:11: “Stupid people express their anger openly, but sensible people are patient and hold it back” (GNT).
This verse makes the strong recommendation that I think before I speak. And delay is a tremendous remedy for my anger. I don’t need to delay indefinitely. If I’ve got an issue I need to deal with, I need to do so. Anger delayed indefinitely can become bitterness. Which ends up being worse than anger itself. Anger isn’t always a sin. But Bitterness is.
If I respond impulsively, I’ll tend to respond in anger. However, If I wait to talk about whatever conflict I’m dealing with, I’ll tend to be more rational and reasonable when I do. The longer I hold my temper, the better my response will be. I need to give myself time to think.
When conflict arises and I give myself time to think, what are the things I should think about? Here are five things that I can consider and it can be remembered from the work “THINK”:
T: Is it truthful? Is what I’m about to say the truth?
H: Is it helpful? Or will it simply harm the other person?
I: Is it inspirational? Does it build up or does it tear down?
N: Is it necessary? If it’s not necessary, why do I need to say it?
K: Is it kind?
So If I can learn to “THINK” before I speak, and reflect before I react. It’ll slow down my anger.
A fool will vent their anger, but a wise person will quitely hold back.
What this means to me:
I shouldn’t be a fool, quickly losing my temper, rather my response should be thought out, sensible and patient.
In summary, It would be stupid for me to express my anger quickly. It's more sensible for me to be patient and hold back before I respond. Anger isn't always sin, but bitterness is. So need to be careful to not delay anger indefinitely. I need to deal with it, but it shouldn't be my first reaction. I need to THINK before I respond; will it be truthful, helpful, build-up, kind and is it even necessary. I think the most important of these for me is: “is it helpful and will it build-up,” If not, it should not be the first thing I say.
I thank you Father for the wonderful and relaxing weekend. I thank you for my immediate family and my grandson Logan. As I start this week, I pray Father for your influence to affect my responses. Help me to think before I speak. I want to speak things that are helpful and that will build others up. I also ask you for wisdom to handle the work tasks in front of me. Help me organize them and bring others into helping to accomplish them. These things I pray in your Son Jesus name, amen!
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