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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

When Facing Conflict, Remember To Look Inward First

In summary of Matthew 7:3-5 it says, "Why do you notice and worry about a speck (a little piece of dust) in someone else’s eye, but yet not notice and see the big piece of wood in your own eye.  How can you say, let me help you get rid of that speck, when you can’t see past the big piece of wood in your own eye.  Don’t be a hypocrite!  First get rid of the big piece of wood in your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with someone else's speck."

Bottom Line:
Why notice and worry about a speck in someone else’s eye, but not notice or deal with a bigger piece of wood in your own eye.  You certainly can’t point out things when you aren’t seeing clearly enough about yourself.  First deal with the big piece in your eye, then you may be able to see clearly enough to deal with someone else’s issues.

What this means to me:
God is good and he understands my selfish nature.  He has provided his word to help guide me.  In it Jesus tells me that I need to deal with my own issues before I can try  dealing with those of others.  Jesus tells us that the small speck is nothing compared to the large plank that we need to deal with that is keeping us from seeing clearly.  It is so easy to see a smudge on your someone else’s face and yet be oblivious to the ugly smear on my own.  It’s often easier for me to play a holier-than-thou part instead of just considering and living as God suggests.  I really need to be cautious in conflict situations.  Instead of me accusing, attacking, or blaming the other person God’s Word tells me I am to begin with humility, even if I think it’s their fault.  I have blind spots and responding wrongly will contribute towards increasing the conflict.  I need to be frank with myself and ask, “how much of this is my fault?”  I need to be honest and admit my part (when I’m wrong - admit it.)  Also it may be prudent just to stay quiet and remember the verse, “when words are plenty, sin is not absent.”.  Moving forward some things I can consider is to ask, am I being: unrealistic, insensitive, over-sensitive, demanding or ungrateful?  My default nature is to be self-centered and stubborn, unwilling to change.  So instead, I need to lead with humility, think through my part and ask for forgiveness for my part.  It is real easy for me to get caught up in conflict at work as I work with my client (our competitor) and dealing with their personalities and ways of thinking.  I pray God that you help me to stop and consider your guidance and look at myself and my shortcomings before I even try to deal with those of others.