What Happens When I Do What I Know is Wrong

In review of Proverbs 10:9 it says, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.”

Bottom Line:

Integrity will keep you safe, dishonestly will eventually be discovered.

What this means to me:

If I walk in integrity, I’ll always be safe in doing what’s right. But if I choose to take a crooked or dishonest path, I’ll will be caught.

The verse in Proverbs 10:9 says, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out” (NIV). When making decisions, I’ll have to have the integrity test.

The test of integrity is that my public and private life match; what’s in my heart and what’s in my life are the same thing. I should ask myself the question, “Would I want everyone to know about this decision that I’m making?” The truth is, when it comes to integrity, even if I can fool everyone else, I can’t fool yourself. And if I violate my own conscience, I’ll end up paying for it.

There are times when I know I’m about to do the wrong thing. I know I shouldn’t do it, but this thought comes to my mind: “I know God is a forgiving God.”

Unfortunately I can’t do something that he says is wrong and not face the consequences of it in my life. That’s the very reason he doesn’t want me to make that decision; because he loves me and not because he wants to keep me from having fun. He knows there are consequences to every decision. He knows every bad decision will leave a scar in my life. And he wants better for me.

God will forgive me for the wrong things I do, he is a forgiving and gracious God. But that forgiveness does not free me from the pain and the consequences that come from bad decisions. I can be forgiven and still have regrets. I can be forgiven and still face pain. I can be forgiven and still have a broken relationship. I can be forgiven and still lose rewards.

Romans 14:14 says, “If someone believes it is wrong, then he shouldn’t do it because for him it is wrong” (TLB). This verse simply says that when in doubt, don’t. It’s a violation of the integrity test.

In summary, integrity will keep me safe, whereas dishonestly will eventually be discovered and bring consequences. This morning I thank you God for protecting me as I live with integrity. You have provided me with your word so that I can know what is right and true. As long as I trust in you and attempt to make it part of my life, you will provide protection. If I step off the path and decide to do something else, I’m also stepping outside of your protection and I’m subject to the consequence of it. Next time I am tempted to not walk in integrity, I ask the Holy Spirit to remind me that there are consequences of going off of his path and that I’ll risk affecting not only my life but also those around me.

Good Decisions Will Always Agree with God’s Word

In review of Psalm 119:105 it says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”

Bottom Line:

Your word lights the path ahead of me that keeps me from stumbling.

What this means to me:

Your word is like a flashlight that lights the path ahead of me. It will keep me from stumbling.

When I need to make a decision, I should be asking myself, “Is my decision in harmony with God’s Word?”

I need to decide what will be my ultimate authority for life. This choice can be narrowed down to: God’s Word or the world. Will I base my decisions on what God says or what others or the world says?

The world or “popular” opinion, will always be out of date, because it changes every day. What was “in” yesterday will not be “in” today and what’s “in” today will not be “in” tomorrow. If you base your life on popular culture, political correctness, or opinion polls, you do not have principles to live by. I’d be living on a shifting foundation!

If I base my life on God’s Word, the truth never changes. Truth is always true. So if God says something was wrong 10,000 years ago, it was also wrong 500 years ago, it’s wrong today, and it will be wrong 1,000 years from today. It doesn’t really matter what opinion polls or political correctness or the media says. If God says it’s wrong, it’s wrong. It always has been, and it always will be. If God says it’s right, it will always be right. That is a solid foundation!

What I’m learning is that God set up the universe with certain laws; physical, moral, and spiritual. God built the universe around these laws not because he’s capricious but because they’re all for my benefit. When I cooperate with the principles in this universe, I’ll succeed. If I reject, rebel, disobey, and ignore God’s principles, I’ll end up being the one who gets hurt. I cannot just thumb my nose at God and get away with it. There’s inevitably a reckoning. Any time I violate God’s principles, I’m asking for trouble.  

With all this in mind, you can be confident in your decision. If God says it’s OK, then I do it. If God says “no,” then I don’t.

For “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path” (Psalm 119:105 NIV).

In summary, God’s word is like a flashlight that lights and illuminates the path ahead of me. This light will keep me from stumbling or taking the wrong path. God this morning I thank you for reminding me that you have already provided me with the greatest source of illumination on direction and steps I should take. I don’t think I spend enough time looking for direction on decisions I’m facing from the word. I spend time each day in the word, on various verses, but I do not always seek out direction on specific decisions. Today I will consider how I might use the Bible to help me with a large decision my wife and I are considering, the purchase of a home in new town we have moved to several months ago.

Developing Committed Connections

In review of Proverbs 18:24 it says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Bottom Line:

Some friends aren’t real helpful, but a true friend is closer than your own family.

What this means to me:

I can have a lot of friends, but they are not always helpful.  A true friend will stick closer and be more loyal than a brother.

Good relationships don’t happen by accident. They take cultivation, work, and a lot of time. That requires commitment!

This verse in Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (ESV).

I think this means that I can over socialize and never enter into deep relationships. I can be networking, contacting, socializing, and making acquaintances but never put in the right amount of time, energy and effort it takes to cultivate a deep, satisfying intimacy of a good friend.

While it’s not wrong to have a lot of acquaintances, I don’t need a lot of friends to make it in this world. However I do need a few good ones. I need to focus on quality, not quantity. This means that any acquaintances; lots of Facebook “friends”, aren’t necessarily going to be there when I need them. But the friends I am truly connected and committed to will.

Every important, close connection begins with a commitment. If I want to get beyond shallow, superficial relationships, I’ve got to be willing to stick with it.

In summary, I can have a lot of friends, but they are not always helpful.  A true friend will stick closer and be more committed than a brother or family member. This morning Father your word reminds me that it’s not just about having a multitude of friends on a superficial level, but rather having a few friends with deeper commitments to each other. I should concentrate on developing more committed relationships, so that I can connect on a deeper level. I need to go beyond the shallow and make a commitment and be willing to stick with it.

Learning To Deal With Gossip

In review of Proverbs 11:13 it says, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”

Bottom Line:

A gossip will betray a confidence, whereas someone trustworthy will keep a secret.

What this means to me:

A gossip is someone who can not be trusted with a secret or a confidence. A trustworthy person is one that can be trusted, you can put your confidence in them, they will keep your secret.

I think our culture tends to think of gossip as one of those “little” sins. But when God talks about gossip, I believe he puts it on the list with other things like sexual immorality and murder. Mainly because it is so destructive to relationships. Gossip can tear apart friendships, families, and churches.

Gossip is talking about a situation with somebody who is neither a part of the solution nor a part of the problem. Honestly if and when I engage in this, what I’m doing is making myself feel more important at somebody else’s expense. Talking about their hurts and their problems make me feel like I’m morally superior or better. That’s the danger and the hurt of gossip.

I’m reminded of a story in the Old Testament about a family that struggled with gossip (Numbers 12:9-11.) Moses had a sister named Miriam who one day got caught up in murmuring and gossiping about Moses among the rest of the people. God called Moses and Miriam in and had a little talk. He spoke with Miriam and told her what she’d done wrong and right there on the spot gave her leprosy. He then invited Moses to pray for Miriam’s healing, the very person who gossiped against him.

When I get hurt by gossip and things that have been said around the office or a broken confidence in a relationship, God is telling me to: “Pray for the person who gossiped against me so that I can be released from the hurt.”

When I can keep confidences, it enables me to connect to others in productive, healthy, and genuine ways.

This verse in Proverbs 11:13 reminds me that, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (NIV).

Today I should consider if I’m the kind of person that can keep others confidences so they can trust me?

In summary, a person who gossips will betray a confidence, whereas someone who is trustworthy will keep a secret. This morning God I ask you to help me not be a person who can not be trusted with a secret or a confidence. Help me to have integrity and be a person that can be trusted, one that others can put their confidences in. I need to remember that I’m being a gossip when I talk about a situation with somebody who is neither a part of the solution nor a part of the problem. I need to recognize why I may be doing this. Am I trying make myself feel more important at somebody else’s expense? If so I need to humble myself and practice Philippians 2:3-4. When I’m on the opposing end of gossip, I need to pray specifically for the person who gossiped against me.

Learning To Use My Words Carefully

In review of Ephesians 4:29 it says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Bottom Line:

What we say should not be abusive or harmful, rather we should say things that will build others up.

What this means to me:

I am to not let foul, abusive or harmful words come from myself. I should concentrate on saying things that be helpful for building others up, such that I can become a source of encouragement for them.

This passage reminds me that God wants me to use my words to build others up. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV).

Without thinking about it, my words can be just like a sledgehammer. I swing away without thinking, and all of a sudden all I have is a pile of relational rubble. If I thoughtlessly sling my words around and tear people down, my relationships are going to suffer.

I don’t always realize how powerful my mouth and words can be. I say things without thinking. And people remember them, just like certain things others have said to me in a careless way, are still remembered today. That’s how powerful words are. So when it comes to my mouth, I’ve got to think of it as a power tool and be very careful with it.

So how can I use my mouth more carefully so that I’m using it to build relationships and not to tear others down?

First, stop excusing. Stop saying, “I didn’t really mean to say that.” Realize that what I say impacts everybody around me.

Talk less. I often get in trouble because I just don’t know when to shut up.

Listen more. If I listen more, I can better understand others needs.

Start building. Let my first thoughts be, “What does that person need? How can I use a word of encouragement to build him up? What can I say to make a difference in his life?”

What I say should not be abusive or harmful, rather I should be thinking and saying things that will build others up. Today, I ask you God to help me with my thoughts and speech patterns. I need to take a pause and think first before speaking. I need to consider how what I will say will be beneficial and not hurtful or harmful. I should concentrate on saying things that be helpful for building others up, such that I can become a source of encouragement for them. I will add Ephesians 4:29 to my list of verses that I am memorizing.

Learning That The World Does Not Revolve Around Me

In review of Philippians 2:4 it says, “Look out for one another’s interests, not just for your own.”

Bottom Line:

Care about others as much as you care about yourselves

What this means to me:

I am to care about others as much as I care about myself. Take an interest in them and what they are doing.

One of the 7 habits of highly effective people says to, “Seek first to understand before seeking to be understood.” The verse talks about this as well: “Look out for one another’s interests, not just for your own” (Philippians 2:4 TEV).

This is such a counterculture verse, as everything in our culture conditions us to think first of ourselves. We don’t think about other people naturally. That’s something we have to learn to do. We naturally think about our needs, our desires, our goals, and our ambitions. As a result we have lots of people disconnected because they’re only thinking of themselves and not anyone else’s needs.

TV commercials are filled with the same by-line: “You deserve it.” “Buy this shampoo! You deserve it.” “Buy this expensive car, because you deserve it!” With this exposure, we are taught that we are the supreme value in life.

There are two very basic truths about life.

First, contrary to popular belief, the world does not revolve around me. I am very special in God’s eyes, and was were created for a purpose, but the world does not revolve around me.

The second truth is this: God has promised that when I focus on meeting the needs of others, he will meet my needs. Why? Because he wants me to learn to be unselfish. He wants me to learn to be loving and generous like him. Part of being considerate of others needs is making allowances for their faults and not expecting them to be perfect (Colossians 3:13). I’m not perfect, so why should I demand it of anybody else?

Proverbs 17:9 says, “Love forgets mistakes” (TLB). When I’m trying to make a connection with someone, I don’t have to be blind to that person’s faults. I just choose to overlook them. Great friends are good forgetters. They don’t rub it in; they rub it out! They are more concerned with the other person’s needs.

In summary, I am to care about others as much as I care about myself. Take an interest in them and what they are doing. Father, it’s tough to refocus myself and to look beyond my own desires. I ask this morning to help change my heart so that I help others knowing that when I do, you will make sure I’m taken care of. I should look for ways to serve others today.

What Fear Will Do To Relationships

In review of 2 Timothy 1:7 it says, “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them.”

Bottom line:

God has not given us a spirit of fear, rather he fills us with power, love and self-control.

What this means to me:

God has given me the gift of his Spirit, and this Spirit doesn’t want me to be afraid of others, but be strong, show love and exhibit self-control.

If I want to connect with someone, I’ve got to be willing to take the first step. This often takes courage, because it’s fear that disconnects human beings. When I’m experiencing fear and anxiety, it’s difficult to get close to others. My tendency is to back off. I believe this is because I'm afraid of being rejected, manipulated, vulnerable, hurt, or used. Fears of which cause me to be disconnected in life.

This fear can be traced back to when Adam and Eve sinned and God came looking for Adam, Adam said, “I was afraid, and I hid.” Seems we have been doing this ever since. Being afraid, we hide our true selves. We don’t let people know what we’re really like, because if we do and they don’t like us, we face rejection.

Fear will do three bad things for relationships:

First, fear will make me defensive. When others point out my weaknesses, I often retaliate and defend myself.

Second, fear keeps me distant. I don’t let people get close. I withdraw. I hide my emotions.

Lastly, fear makes me demanding. The more insecure I am, the more I try to control things. I try to have the last word in a relationship. I try to dominate.

So where can I get the courage to take the first step to connect with someone and get into a deeper level of intimacy?

I get it from God’s Spirit already present in my life. The Bible says, “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them” (2 Timothy 1:7 TLB).

I’ll know when I’m filled with God’s Spirit, when I get more courageous in my relationships. I love and enjoy being with people. I’m not afraid of them, because God’s Spirit is in my life. The Bible says “God is love” and “Love casts out all fear.” The more of God I have in my life, the less fear I’m going to have in life.

So today, I need to proceed knowing that I have God’s Spirit in me who wants me to be have courage, be bold and reach out to others. I don’t want to be defensive, distant or controlling. Today I pray God for the courage to take the first step toward growth in this area today.