Giving the Gift of My Attention

In Philippians 2:4 I read, “Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others.” (NCV)

When I walk into a meeting, how many people are sitting there, looking at their phones, texting or scrolling social media? Our heads seem to be always down, engrossed in a video or game, and our earbuds keep us from hearing the people near us. It’s so easy to sit in a restaurant with friends yet be more concerned about our “friends” on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram.

I may be hanging out with two friends, but I’m more focused on tweeting to 100! Then I may be worried about how many people are retweeting it or liking my post. It’s all about me instead of the people God has placed right in front of me.

I live in a world where tools and technology have left us perpetually distracted and trained us to no longer pay attention to the people in our lives. 

If I want to have happier relationships, I need to learn the lost art of paying attention.

The Bible says in Philippians 2:4, “Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others” (NCV).

This doesn’t come naturally. Based on my nature, I may not care what someone else is interested in. Based on my nature, I usually want the attention on myself, not the other person.

But the greatest gift I can give somebody is my attention—because my attention is my time, and my time is my life. I’m never going to get my time back, and that’s why it is so precious when I give it.

This is a simple but powerful tool in growing strong relationships. Am I interested in what my kids or grandchildren are interested in? Do I listen to what my partner has to say? Do I give my coworkers my attention when they speak to me? Do I notice my neighbors as I walk by their home in the morning?

Learning the lost art of paying attention is an act of love. It will transform my relationships and help me live a happy life.

In summary, when I walk into a meeting or go to a restaurant, how many people are sitting there, looking at their phones, texting or scrolling social media? Our heads seem to be always down, engrossed in a video or game, and our earbuds keep us from hearing the people near us. It’s so easy to sit in a restaurant with friends yet be more concerned about our “friends” on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram. I may be hanging out with two friends, but I’m more focused on tweeting to 100! I also may be worried about how many people are retweeting it or liking my post. It’s all about me instead of the people God has placed right in front of me. Tools and technology have left us perpetually distracted and trained us to no longer pay attention to the people in our lives. To have happier relationships, I need to learn the lost art of paying attention. The Bible tells me to “not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others”. This doesn’t come naturally. I may not care what someone else is interested in. Based on my nature, I usually want the attention on myself, not the other person. The greatest gift I can give somebody is my attention, as my attention is my time, and my time is my life. I’m never going to get my time back, and that’s why it is so precious when I give it. So am I interested in what my kids or grandchildren are interested in? Do I listen to what my partner has to say? Do I give my coworkers my attention when they speak to me? Do I notice my neighbors as I walk by their home in the morning? Learning the lost art of paying attention is an act of love. It will transform my relationships and help me live a happy life.

So I shouldn’t be selfish or try to impress others. Instead I need to learn to be humble, thinking of others as better than myself. I am to do it with the same attitude that Christ had, giving up his equality with God and serving us. Paul encourages me to guard against any selfishness, prejudice, or jealousy that might lead to dissension. Show a genuine interest in others and maintain unity. So I shouldn’t be obsessed with my own advantages. I need to learn to forget about myself long enough to lend a helping hand. I need to avoid being selfish or trying to impress others. I need to show a genuine interest in others. Pay attention, so that I don't miss opportunities or chances to help. Be intentional about looking away from myself and looking to the needs of others.