Putting The Goals And Interests Above My Own

In summary of Philippians 2:4-5 it says, "Each of you should put yourself aside and not be interested in only in your own life / interests (things to your own advantage), but to the life and interests of others (learn to lend a helping hand.)  Your attitude should be the same as Jesus, thinking and acting like him."

Bottom Line:
Each of us needs to learn to put the goals and interests of others above our own.  We should think and act like Jesus, his attitude was one of putting others first and helping them accomplish their goals.

What this means for me:
God tells me to get beyond myself, I can’t just look at my viewpoint or my desires, I need to look at and consider the other persons viewpoints or desires.  Of course this does not come naturally to me.  To think like this will require an intentional shift, where I focus from looking at my needs to looking at someone else's needs.  It will also take God’ actively working in my life.  In retrospect, I find that things always work better when I understand where people are coming from.  It can lead to less conflict overall.  A key to understanding for me is too truly listen.  I actually need to learn to listen more than I talk.  To do so effectively, I’ll need to hold back and not be so anxious to make my point, or tell my side of the story or defend myself.  If I don’t listen I can often miss what they are saying. This reminds me of one of the Steven Covey’s Habits of Highly effective people - “Seek first to understand, then be understood.”   I can strive to be more like Christ when I ask “what is their needs and how can I meet them?”  So today’s verse and study is good example for me as I deal with conflict between two of my team members.  I need to coach them on seeking to understand and how to listen to each other.  I think both have preconceived notions of each other and infer upon each other what they think should happen.   For me, I’ll want to focus on really listening and then seeing what I can do to help others achieve their goals.

Producing Good Fruit In Life

In summary of Galatians 5:22-23 it says, "When we live God’s way the Holy Spirit produce a specific type of fruit in our lives; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  With these things we develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people.  We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needed to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.  There is no law against these things."

Bottom Line:
When we live God’s way he uses his Spirit within us to produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  These are things that all help us stick with it and have compassion with others.  It provides a conviction that will permeate the things and people in our lives.  Given this we find more loyal commitments in our relationships, we are able to direct ourselves wisely and we don’t really need to force our way in life.  There exists no law against these things, they are all good.

What this means to me:
God will use my relationship with him to produce good things.  It’s a different kind of life that allows me to direct myself wisely and not have to force my agenda in life.  These qualities don’t always come naturally to me, but God’s Word tells me that they are intended for me, It's a birthright that comes from the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life.  I find the best ways to let these qualities permeate is to spend daily time with Him and his Word.  When I do, I get daily reminders of his goodness and mercy.  His Word provides the directions on how he intended life to be led.  When I follow his direction and leadings, I truly experience much better relationships and can conduct my actions wisely.  I ask God daily to work through me and allow me to serve, or be of assistance or communicate well in my interactions / specific meetings of the day.  I have found that if I don’t spend time with him each day, I tend to revert back to my automatic mode - which is more selfish and demanding.  I Praise God for the work he does with me daily as I choose to follow the way he guides me.

Taking The Initiative

In summary of 2 Timothy 1:6-7 it says, "You are to fan into flames and keep ablaze the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid hands on you.  God doesn’t want us to be shy, fearful or timid with his gifts or people but instead he wants us to be wise, strong, sensible and loving."

Bottom Line:
Take the spiritual gifts God has given you and fan them into flames, keep them ablaze.  God doesn’t want you to be shy, fearful/timid with his gifts or in dealing with people.  Instead he want you to be wise, strong, sensible and loving.

What this means to me:
God has given me gifts to use, I need to do what I can to use and build them them up (keeping them alive, not wasting them.)  God doesn’t want me to be shy with the use of them, instead I am to move in confident wisdom, be strong, be sensible and loving in how I deal with people, this especially relates to dealing with conflict.  I need to learn to take courage from God’s Spirit in my life.  The Holy Spirit (God’s gift to me) doesn’t want me to be afraid of people but to be wise and strong (courageous) and to love / enjoy being with them.  So my starting point should be to pause and pray “God, help me to take the first step.”

Learning To Not Retaliate

In summary of Romans 12:17-19 it says, "Never pay back evil with more evil.  Do things in a way that everyone sees you as honorable.  Do what every you can to live in peace with everyone.  So, don’t insist on getting even or take revenge into your own hands; that’s not for you to do.  Leave that to God, for scripture tells us that God will take revenge and pay them back."

Bottom Line:
Never pay back evil done to you will more evil.  Instead do things in a way that keeps you living at peace with everyone.  Don’t insist on getting even or taking revenge on someone; it’s not our role, we are to leave it to God.  God has told us that he will be the one to take revenge or inflict payback, but we must realize that God will do this in his own timing and not likely ours.

What this means to me:
God does not want me to take matters of revenge or payback for offenses done to me into my own hands.  Instead he asks that I live in peace and harmony with others.  I’m to leave the wrath, revenge and payback to Him.  But it’s important for me to realize that He will handle it in his own timing and not in mine. This is a very difficult thing to do without God help.  My natural tendency is to retaliate when I’m attacked or hurt.  This means that I must learn that I can’t please everybody (even God doesn’t please everyone.)  I need to say no to unrealistic expectations and instead seek to speak the truth in love to them or even to myself.  God makes it pretty clear that I should never retaliate.  What I can do is pray for them.   When I do this it will help adjust my thoughts and perhaps be an influence to them in their lives.

Learning To Deal Appropriately With Anger

In summary of Ephesians 4:26-27 it says, "Don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge or cause you to sin by letting it control your actions.  Do what you can to not stay angry.  The enemy uses anger to get a foothold in your life."

Bottom Line:
Don’t let anger be a catalyst for making you sin (fueling revenge or letting it control your next steps.)  Do whatever you can to not stay angry.  The devil will use anger in gain a foothold into your life and steer you off-course.

What this means to me:
God’s Word cautions me on the danger that can occur from my anger if not dealt with appropriately.  I need to not let it fuel revenge or to let it control my actions.  Instead God tells me to quickly rid myself of anger.  If I stay angry and continue to dwell on what is making me angry, the enemy will use it to his goals and advantages.  So I need to realize that there are more helpful ways to deal with and release my anger.  First I need to not deny it, but rather be realistic with myself and admit it for what it is.  Anger is not always wrong, it is how I choose to react to it that makes it inappropriate or destructive.  I have found that expressing anger in-appropriately ends up producing the opposite of what I intended.  For instance, me blowing up at a person will never produce a positive lasting change, in fact is may produce more anger and alienation.  I need to also realize that anger is not usually the root problem, but often a result of either a hurt, a fear or a frustration in my life.  So instead of getting angry and blowing up or using it to fuel revenge, I’ll stop, admit it and with God’s help cool down.  I’ll look to identify if I feel I’ve been hurt, or if I’m afraid of something, or if I feel threatened, or think I’m losing something valuable or frustrated. Once I can correctly id this, then I’m much better off in dealing with the root cause.

Realizing The True Cost Of Anger

In summary of several verses in Proverbs 14:17, 29:22, 15:18 and 11:29 it says,


Proverbs 14:17
"Short or quick tempered hot headed people do foolish things they’ll later regret.   A wiser person remains claim.  One’s who devise evil scheme are hated."

Proverbs 29:22
"An angry person will stir up a lot of discord, stir up quarrels / trouble and end up committing all kinds of sin."

Proverbs 15:18
"A hot tempered person will start a fight; a cool tempered or calm person (patience) will stop them or keep the peace"

Proverbs 11:29
"One who provokes his family to anger or resentment (brings trouble) will have nothing worthwhile left.  Common sense tells you it’s a stupid way to live."

Bottom Line:
Those who have a short fuse or hot headed will end up doing foolish things that later they’ll regret.  They will be quick to stir up discord, quarrels and even start a fight, ultimately committing all kinds of sin.  Likewise one who provokes his own family to the point of anger or resentment will having nothing worthwhile left.  Common sense tells you this is a stupid way to live.   On the flipside a wiser person will remain calm and through their patience will keep the peace (stop the fight.)

What this means to me:
God’s word tells me that there will always be a price tag to uncontrolled anger (fights, discord, loss of family or loss of reputation.)  The key thing for me to remember is that whenever I lose my temper, I actually “lose.”  Anger can be very dangerous, it could lead to a loss of my reputation, wife, job, health, and just about anything else.  If I’m not careful, anger will alienate me from others.  I need to be cautious and ask the Holy Spirit to remind me when I start to get angry.  Even mild anger can change the course of relationships.  As I think back about an incident yesterday afternoon in which I started to get angry about a position I thought someone was taking.  I was getting all worked up about it and it was only a perception I had and not what the person had said or was doing.  With me spouting off, I’m sure it made the folks I work with wonder where I was coming from, affecting my reputation.  I need to be careful, just a little anger can mess things up.  I need to make sure I go back and let them know I was wrong to jump to conclusions.  It’s interesting, when I started this review of God’s word this morning on these passages I thought that I”m pretty good about not getting angry, but then God brought to mind my incident late yesterday.  I know I can get caught up at anytime.  I am so glad that I have my daily time with God and his Word to help correct me and keep me closer to his path.

Living By A Different Standard

In summary of Ephesians 4:17-19 it says, "Paul tells us with the insistence and the Lord’s backing that we must no longer live as the crowd does; empty-headed, mindless, futile and with the confused hopelessness of their thinking.  Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God provides because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts against him.  They’ve refused for so long to deal with God that they’ve lost touch not only with God but with reality itself.  They have no sense of shame, having lost all sensitivity, they live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed."

Bottom Line:
Paul tells us with insistence and authority that we should no longer live just as the crowd (world) does.  The crowd (world) has wandered far from the life that God provides, they have hardened their hearts against him.  They have refused for so long to deal with it that they have lost touch with reality, accepting self fulfillment and selfishness as the norm, thus giving into lustful pleasures, impurity and greed.

What this means to me..
God wants me to live a different kind of life.  Paul is tells me with a sense of insistence and backing from the Lord that I am to no longer live like the crowd or world does (confused and now hopeless in thinking.)  It’s easy for me to get off track if I’m not having regular time with him.  If I began to ignore God and forget he is part of the picture then I too would end up having a hardened heart and pursue self fulfillment as my goal (this is just natural for me.)  This would eventually lead to believing that lustful pleasure, impurity and greed are normal and ok.  I need to remind myself and keep vigilant as I know that this is easy for me to get to, especially in absence of being reminded daily of the life God wants for me.  It is important for me to continue to pursue a different kind of life from the norm.  God wants me to engage and understand his will by reading his Word and listening for his promptings.  Doing so I learn to live by a different standard.  When I put this at the forefront of my thinking and live my life this way I can make a difference in the world around me.  Today I ask God to use me for his purposes and to make a difference for others and to protect me from the lies of the enemy which makes pursuing self fulfilment sound so good.